by Randall Allen Dunn

Having grown up with both comic books and movies, I never expected to see anyone make a movie about an entire team of superheroes. I was a kid when moviemakers went to great lengths and plenty of screen time to make moviegoers believe a man could fly in “Superman: the Movie”. It was hard enough to convince audiences that one person could develop incredible superpowers and fight crime. To convince people that several such individuals could exist, it seemed they would have to introduce each of the heroes individually first, one movie at a time.

And they did. In a long-term endeavor, the Avengers were introduced through separate films, with each one hinting in post-credit scenes that the future Avengers team would be formed. The result was an impressive and entertaining team of characters with very distinct personalities and powers, creating a “star-studded” superhero movie.

Of course, for it to work, these intriguing and powerful individuals had to learn how to function as a team. Which meant letting go of their individual agendas.

When an interstellar demi-God named Loki (Tom Hiddleston) attackes the secret government agency, S.H.I.E.L.D. and brainwashes one of their agents, Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner) – also known as Hawkeye – Col. Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) decides to draw together these superheroes for help. Loki intends to take over the earth with an onslaught of alien monsters, once he establishes a portal that allows them direct entry into the human world.

Fury sends another S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) – known as the Black Widow – to recruit one of the most dangerous and reclusive would-be members, Dr. Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), whose anger triggers a transformation that transforms him into the raging monster known as the Hulk. Banner makes it clear that he doesn’t trust S.H.I.E.L.D. or the United States government, whose military have often hunted him down to try to use his monstrous persona as a weapon. But he agrees to come along when he learns that Romanoff wants to recruit him for his scientific expertise rather than his power as the Hulk, so that he can help analyze the tesseract that threatens to open up a portal to Loki’s world.

The government also recruits the self-obsessed, irreverent billionaire Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.), whose high-tech flying armor earned him the name ofIronMan.When he sees the potential danger of the threat, Stark also agrees to tag along.

Fury himself approaches Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), who made a heroic name for himself as Captain America during World War II. Having just been revived from suspended animation,Rogersis now trapped in a world where all of his old friends and comrades are dead. All he knows now is his commitment to serve his country in whatever way he can, even if he no longer fits in with modern society.

When Iron Man and Captain America confront Loki, they encounter Loki’s powerful half-brother, Thor (Chris Hemsworth), who insists on dealing with Loki himself. He assures the others that this matter is beyond their ability to handle. But the three of them make a temporary truce and agree to take the captured Loki to S.H.I.E.L.D.

The team’s various personalities and personal goals soon come into sharp conflict. Particularly between the all-business, all-dutiful Captain America and the clownish egocentrism of Iron Man, who finds Captain America’s concepts of self-sacrifice for a greater cause to be old-fashioned and unrealistic.

Even harder to bring together are the Hulk and Thor, neither of whom whish to spend any more time with the group than they have to. Thor has little faith in the team’s abilities, and the Hulk doesn’t trust their intentions or their concern for his own welfare.

Ultimately, they learn that each member of the team has something unique and vital to offer. Banner and Iron Man challenge CaptainAmerica’s blind allegiance to S.H.I.E.L.D., when the evidence shows they are hiding something. This leads Captain America to do some private investigation of S.H.I.E.L.D. and learn that they themselves plan to use the tesseract as a weapon, which the other team members consider too dangerous to be left in any government’s hands.

When the Avengers finally mount a united attack against the invading alien forces, Captain America assumes leadership, using his military strategy to direct each member in using their individual skills to the best effect. Trusting his direction, the other members follow his instructions and repel the invaders.

Even Iron Man, after ridiculing Captain America’s ideas of self-sacrifice, realizes the value of such ideals when he is forced to sacrifice himself. Using his suit’s power, he seals the portal and stops the invasion, but in the process cuts himself off from his own world as he pushes through it to the alien world. Captain America’s noble example led him to understand what it means to make such a hard choice. To be a genuine hero.

Fortunately, Thor uses the power of his mystical hammer to pull Iron Man back from the portal, and the team is briefly re-united before calling it a day, to part as friends and comrades. Despite their differences and individual agendas, they now know they can all work together again if the need arises,

Having great skills and abilities make us each a valued member of a team. But if we can’t also choose to contribute our gifts for the good of our teammates, instead of holding back to benefit ourselves alone, we will never truly be part of that team.

Which means we will never be as strong as we could have been.

Find more reviews of “The Avengers” at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

No one likes being rejected. We all work hard to persuade others to like us, either for who we are or for who we think they want us to be. We’re often so hungry for acceptance that we’re willing to change our public appearance and persona in order to fit in.

So when rejection comes, it’s hard to handle. Especially if we’re depending on the acceptance of others for our own self-worth.

The television series, “Victorious”, features Tory Vega (Victoria Justice), a teenage girl who has transferred to a high school forHollywoodhopefuls. In one episode, her former boyfriend from the last school, Danny (Matt Angel), surprises her by appearing there. When she asks Danny what he’s doing atHollywoodArtsHigh School, he explains he’s visiting his new girlfriend – who happens to be Tory’s best friend, Cat (Ariana Grande).

After a very awkward moment, Tory and Danny encourage everyone to relax, since Tory ended her relationship with Danny a long time ago. Still, Tory’s rival, Jade (Elizabeth Gillies), encourages any tension she can play up to make Tory squirm.

Which works well for her when Cat makes brownies for Danny and Tory insists that Danny won’t eat brownies. When Cat makes Danny try one, he finds they’re delicious. Tory can’t understand why he likes them when she had made him brownies twice and he claimed he didn’t like brownies. When Tory tries one of the brownies herself, she discovers that Cat bakes much better than she does.

Later at a party, Tory finds Danny and Cat in a passionate kiss. She suddenly snaps and turns up the pressure of a cheese fondue fountain nearby them, spraying them both with melted cheese. Danny and Cat are stunned. So are all the other kids who witness the attack.

So is Tory. She can’t explain why she did it, since she’s not sure herself. She runs off, ashamed and humiliated.

Later, she tries to apologize to Cat, but instead runs into Danny instead, who tells her that Cat is still busy trying to get cheese out of her hair. Tory apologizes to Danny and assures him she wants the two of them to be happy together. Danny asks Tory she’s acting this way when she’s the one that dumped him. He asks if she’s still harboring feeling for him, and she insists that she’s not.

The next moment, they’re kissing one another.

Just as Cat emerges from the bathroom to see them. Devastated, she runs off before Tory can catch her.

Cat refuses to take Tory’s calls and avoids her at school. Until Tory finally corners her and drags her into a broom closet so they can talk. She tells Cat how sorry she is for acting so strange.

“You sprayed cheese on me and then kissed my boyfriend. Why would you be mean to me?” Cat asks.

“I don’t know,” Tory says, wishing she knew why she acted in such a cruel and inconsiderate manner. “Maybe I did still have a few tiny little feelings left for Danny. And maybe that’s why I went a little crazy, seeing you two be all mushy together.”

“You could’ve just talked to me about it,” Cat says.

“I know. What I did was terrible and awful and immature and you have every right to be furious with me. I swear, Cat, if I were you, I’d just punch me right in the face.”

Cat, being naïve, complies, and socks Tory’s nose. Tory explains through her pain that her statement was just something that people say. Thankfully, all is forgiven as Cat takes Tory to the emergency room.

Tory got caught in a trap of emotions that ran so deep she couldn’t even see them. She already knew that Danny wasn’t the right guy for her, which was why she broke it off. But when she saw him giving such lavish attention and affection to someone else – even when that someone was her best friend – she only saw her own hurt. Her own loss of the boyfriend she could have had. Even if it wasn’t the right boyfriend for her.

When someone else is chosen over us – for a job, a position on a team, or even a relationship – we wonder what’s wrong with us. We rarely consider the qualities or strengths of the other person that made people choose them. We’re too focused on ourselves and our imagined shortcomings.

But each person is unique. In truth, you and I are not the right people to pick for every opportunity or project, let alone for every person to date. We all have flaws as well as strengths. And even if our personal attributes make us seem like the perfect candidate for some opportunity or special relationship, we can’t force other people to recognize it and choose us. The choice is theirs. But our choice to appreciate ourselves and the qualities of others is a choice we can make. Once we do, knowing we won’t always be chosen, we can be free to be happy for the person who received something wonderful.

Especially when it’s someone we consider a friend.

Find more reviews of “Victorious Season 1, Volume 2” at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

One of the most hilarious episodes of “psych” contains a disturbing subplot that makesa sad commentary on the society we live in. In “Lights, Camera, Homicidio”, while Shawn Spencer (James Roday), tries to solve a murder on the set of a Spanish soap opera, Juliet O’Hara (Maggie Lawson) is dealing with a tamer problem back at the Santa Barbara Police Department.

Or so it would seem.

When she notices a new woman joining the police force, she decides to welcome her. She walks up with a smile and introduces herself to Penny (Dena Ashbaugh), and tells the newbie that if she needs anything at all, to just ask.

“Do I look like I need help writing my name and badge number?” Penny replies.

Wow. That was cold and completely uncalled for.

Juliet is discouraged, but makes another attempt to befriend Penny soon afterward. She presents her with a cupcake on her desk.

Penny seems instantly offended. “What is that?”

Juliet explains it’s a cupcake she bought for her, because she noticed Penny didn’t get a chance to eat lunch so figured she might need something to eat. She also noticed that this was her favorite cupcake so she picked one up for her.

Penny asked what else Juliet noticed about her. Juliet said she noticed Penny usually eats alone and can come off a bit abrasive, but figured that’s probably just because she’s new to the routines and people there.

The next day, Juliet was called into the office of Chief Vick (Kirsten Nelson), who asked Juliet to give her side of the story regarding Penny, who was pressing charges for harassment. Juliet is stunned. “I gave her a cupcake. Sue me.”

“She is!” Chief Vick tells her. She goes on to tell her that with “this new evidence”, Penny’s suit against the department holds a lot of weight.

She explains to Juliet that women on the police force must be very cautious about how they form friendships, and advises her not to buy any more pastries while she tries to get the charges dropped.

This part of the episode always annoys me. It seems we live in a society that rewards people for being abrasive, hateful and self-absorbed while punishing friendliness and kindness.

Did Juliet go overboard? Yes.

Should she have read Penny’s rude signals that she didn’t want to be bothered? Yes.

Should she be sued, along with her department, for her actions? Well, obviously! She should be sued for every last penny, and so should her workforce and everyone she knows or has ever met! After all, she gave poor Penny a cupcake!

How much more invasive could she be? Imagine the millions Penny could have gotten in court if Juliet had baked her a birthday cake when Penny didn’t feel like celebrating.

Years ago, as I was entering the front corridor of my apartment house, a middle-aged woman was hurrying up the stairs and asked me if I could hold the door for her. I didn’t know her but there were only eight total apartments in the building and she didn’t look like a dangerous intruder, so I let her in. To be cautious, I watched to make sure she entered an apartment, which was right there on the first floor.

Before she reached her door, I introduced myself. She gave me a tolerant smile, as if I had asked for her bank account password. “And what did you say your name was?” I prodded.

“I didn’t,” she stated flatly as she entered her apartment.

I said goodbye, making my irritation clear. (I’m a little more mature these days.) This woman had no problem expecting me to let her into a secure building, but she wasn’t about to trust a stranger like me with something so private as her first name.

We live in a suspicious culture, made more dangerous by these people who use their protective instincts as an excuse for their rudeness. These abrasive, hateful, self-absorbed people are ready and willing to take whatever you give them, but if you look at them sideways or say the wrong thing or bump into them by mistake, they’ll sue you into the poorhouse. Because they believe that’s fair. And because, in today’s society, they can.

In days gone by, the word “neighbor” always referred to someone who could be expected to support you in times of need. Even if you didn’t spend much time together, those people who lived close to you would be ready to loan you their lawn equipment or a cup of sugar if you needed it, because they wanted to help people. That was considered normal for a community.

I believe it still is. But today, the word “neighbor” might just as often mean the person who hosts loud parties long into the night or shoots off firecrackers in the middle of your street. Or the person who judges you with a snooty look without ever bothering to say “hello”. Or the person who’s just itching for you to slip up in some way so they can get rich off of you in a frivolous lawsuit. These days, our neighbors can also be our worst enemies. The word “neighbor” no longer refers to an acquaintance that can be counted on in a crisis. Now it just refers to someone who lives near you.

But take heart, those of you who believe in reaching out to strangers, in giving help by picking up a hitchhiker or giving away money to a homeless person. Those of you who shrug off other people’s minor offenses against you, showing the wisdom and maturity of forgiveness. Those of you who, like Juliet, just want to welcome someone who might otherwise feel lonely and left out. Though the warped views of others and the current laws work against you, we can take some comfort in this: showing kindness and friendliness is its own reward.

As for those abrasive, hateful, self-absorbed people, they might win a few frivolous lawsuits and force their employers to jump through hoop after hoop every time they stub their toe or get their feelings hurt. But they will likely remain abrasive, hateful and self-absorbed.

They might have a hardtime making friends.

Find more reviews of “psych Season 2” at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

As the New Year begins, everyone is eager to make plans. To make this the year that they finally achieve their long-held goals.

Yet for most of us, the end of this year will be much like the end of last year: wishing we had accomplished more and wondering where the time went.

If we took an inventory, we would likely find that we spent more of our time watching television or chatting online than we would have liked. We would discover that we never reached our goals for the year because we simply never spent enough time planning and working them out.

In the book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry Potter is thrilled to spend his first Christmas away from home. Having never known his parents – both of them wizards slain by Harry’s new enemy, Voldemort – Harry was raised by his cruel Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia Dursley, forced to live in a cupboard (closet) under the stairs and suffer the bullying of his spoiled cousin, Dudley. So Harry happily agreed to stay at Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry rather than return to their house for the Christmas holidays.

Having been so poorly neglected by the Dursleys, Harry is amazed to actually receive Christmas presents from his new friends at Hogwart’s. His best friend, Ron Weasley, replies, “What did you expect, turnips?”

One of Harry’s presents, an invisibility cloak, allows him to do some snooping in the restricted sections of the school library, to learn more about the dangerous treasure being kept on school grounds, so that he and his friends can protect it.

While searching, he accidentally discovers something else: a large mirror with a message written on its frame. When Harry looks into the mirror, he finds something he never expected to see in his wildest dreams.

It was a magnificent mirror, as high as the ceiling, with an ornate gold frame, standing on two clawed feet. There was an inscription carved around the top: erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.

His panic fading now that there was no sound of Filch and Snape, Harry moved nearer to the mirror, wanting to look at himself but see no reflection again. He stepped in front of it.

He had to clap his hands to his mouth to stop himself from screaming. He whirled around. His heart was pounding far more furiously than when the book had screamed – for he had seen not only himself in the mirror, but a whole crowd of people standing right behind him.

But the room was empty. Breathing very fast, he turned slowly back to the mirror.

There he was, reflected in it, white and scared-looking, and there, reflected behind him, were at least ten others. Harry looked over his shoulder – but still, no one was there. Or were they all invisible, too? Was he in fact in a room full of invisible people and the mirror’s trick was that it reflected them, invisible or not?

He looked in the mirror again. A woman standing right behind his reflection was smiling at him and waving. He reached out a hand and felt the air behind him. If she was really there, he’d touch her, their reflections were so close together, but he felt only air – she and the others existed only in the mirror.

She was a very pretty woman. She had dark red hair and her eyes – her eyes are just like mine, Harry thought, edging a little closer to the glass. Bright green – exactly the same shape, but then he noticed that she was crying; smiling, but crying at the same time. The tall, thin, black-haired man standing next to her put his arm around her. He wore glasses, and his hair was very untidy. It stuck up at the back, just as Harry’s did.

Harry was so close to the mirror now that his nose was nearly touching that of his reflection.

“Mom?” he whispered. “Dad?”

They just looked at him, smiling. And slowly, Harry looked into the faces of the other people in the mirror, and saw other pairs of green eyes like his, other noses like his, even a little old man who looked as though he had Harry’s knobbly knees – Harry was looking at his family, for the first time in his life.

He hurries to show Ron that he has found a mirror that shows him his long-lost parents. But when Ron looks into it, he sees something entirely different. He sees himself, achieving school status as head boy and athletic fame as a star Quidditch player, getting the attention and respect he has always longed for.

Harry is confused. Ron thinks the mirror might show the future, but Harry knows this can’t be true, since his parents died long ago.

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore clears things up for Harry, as he finds him returning once again to the mirror’s image of his long-lost parents.

“So,” said Dumbledore, slipping off the desk to sit on the floor with Harry, “you, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Esired.”

“I didn’t know it was called that, sir.”

“But I expect you’ve realized by now what it does?”

“It – well – it shows me my family –.”

“And it showed your friend Ron himself as head boy.”

“How did you know –?”

“I don’t need a cloak to become invisible,” said Dumbledore gently. “Now, can you think what the Mirror of Esired shows us all?”

Harry shook his head.

“Let me explain. The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Esired like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is. Does that help?”

Harry thought. Then he said slowly, “It shows us what we want … whatever we want …”

“Yes and no,” said Dumbledore quietly. “It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts. You, who have never known your family, see them standing around you. Ronald Weasley, who has always been overshadowed by his brothers, sees himself standing alone, the best of all of them. However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen , or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible.

“The Mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow, Harry, and I ask you not to go looking for it again. If you ever do run across it, you will now be prepared. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.”

If Harry had examined the mirror itself more closely, he might have figured out for himself what it reveals, by reading its inscriptions backwards. But the lure of a dream can easily paralyze us into adopting a dreamlike state, wishing and hoping for something to happen – instead of acting to make it so. And in that stupor, we often fail to notice details of the reality around us. Such as the fact that we’re not taking the necessary actions to get things done.

It’s good to have a dream. But if we never do more with it than dream it, we might as well sit and dream in front of a mirror like Harry’s.

Or in front of a TV like ours.

This year, make a plan to achieve your dreams and write it down. You might not achieve everything you hope to, but you’ll come a lot closer to it by the time next December rolls around.

Happy New Year!

Find more reviews of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

It’s easy to take people for granted. To decide that we do a lot more for our friends and family than they ever do for us. After all, without us, where would they be?

When we start thinking this way, we should take time to consider where we might be without them.

Shawn Spencer (James Roday), on “psych”, might be television’s most irresponsible detective. He’s also one of the most gifted. His skills of observation, deduction and instinct are so formidable that the police initially thought he had inside knowledge of crimes. The only way Shawn could avoid jail time was by pretending to be a psychic, which results in landing him a consulting job with the department.

His act would never work without the help of his partner, Burton “Gus” Guster (Dulé Hill), whose vast knowledge of medicine, technology and other specialized fields helps fill in the significant gaps in Shawn’s own knowledge. Shawn also gets information and direction from his father, Henry (Corbin Bernsen), a former police officer who now oversees Shawn’s cases. He also has the moral support of Chief Vick (Kirsten Nelson) and his girlfriend, Juliet (Maggie Lawson), who believe in his psychic abilities, although Shawn’s rival, Head Detective Carlton Lassiter (Timothy Omundson), would rather do without Shawn’s intrusive help.

After Shawn and Gus interrupt a well-planned police sting, no one is on Shawn’s side anymore. They’ve finally had enough of his antics and his ego. Shawn feels they’re overreacting, failing to appreciate all he’s done for them, and how much they need his skills.

Shawn retires to his office and falls asleep, dreaming that Tony Cox from “Bad Santa” has appeared to show him the error of his ways. Tony plans to show Shawn what life would be like for his friends if he had never returned to Santa Barbara.

Shawn first sees his father as a lonely slob shut in his home, eating cereal from the box as he sits on his couch in his underwear. Tony insists that Shawn is imagining this, because his father wouldn’t really be that bad off without Shawn around.

Enjoying the fact that he can control some aspects of his dream, Shawn asks to view Gus’ life as a 1980’s sitcom. He sits in a studio audience watching “Willin’ with Da Gusters”, a lame show that makes Gus look foolish, while showing him weighed down by an abusive wife and stepson. “You would do that to your boy?” Tony asks.

Shawn starts to realize that this is the way he normally treats Gus, making a cheap joke of his best friend instead of appreciating his invaluable partnership.

He sees Chief Vick and Lassiter at the police station, ordering the officers around like Gestapo. He can’t help laughing at how ridiculous Lassiter looks. “Well, at least they respect him,” Shawn decides, recognizing that he should do the same.

He then sees Juliet as a T.J. Hooker-style cop in Miami, throwing herself into dangerous situations with no one to back her up when she needs real help.

Shawn realizes that his friends need more than his pretend-psychic insights. They need his respect and support.

He also realizes that he needs all of them, just as much as they need him … if not more.

When he wakes up, he’s figured out the missing pieces of the crime that had puzzled him. But to solve it, he’ll need help. From everyone. Everyone that he routinely mistreated.

He seeks out Gus and the others, making his apologies for his poor treatment of them. He asks each one for a second chance and for their help. His sincere turnaround even wins over Lassiter, who confesses, “Look, this lack of animosity is kind of freaking me out right now.”

With his friends’ help, Shawn is able to expose a slumlord’s corruption and stop a bomb from blowing up a tenement building. Knowing that he could never have done any of it without them.

If you’ve taken some of your loved ones for granted, use this holiday time to make things right with them. Show them how much you truly appreciate them being in your life, recognizing how much you need each of them.

It’s easy to find fault with others, and easiest to find fault with the ones that are closest to us. But consider how easy it is for them to also find fault with you. It might help you better appreciate your friends and family for sticking with you all these years.

Find more reviews of “psych Season 5” at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

Some people dread holiday get-togethers.

Specifically, they dread getting together with certain people.

Those friends and family members you see occasionally, out of sheer obligation. Not necessarily because want to spend more time with them.

Those people who have the unique skill to get on your every last nerve, pressing every one of your buttons until you can actually feel your own blood pressure rising. Such people can quickly ruin your entire holiday.

At least, it feels that way.

In the film, “Planes, Trains and Automobiles”, Neal Page (Steve Martin) meets just such a person: Del Griffith (John Candy), as he completes a business trip in New York City and prepares to fly back home to Chicago for Thanksgiving. Neal first meets Del in a taxi cab headed to the airport: Neal’s taxi cab, which Del unwittingly took from him. Del apologizes for the mistake when they meet up again at the airport. He insists on making up for it somehow, but Neal brushes off his gesture, not wanting to be bothered any further.

Then he finds himself sitting next to Del on the plane, where Del proceeds to remove his shoes to air out his tired, smelly feet near Neal’s face.

When a blizzard in Chicago diverts their flight to Wichita, Kansas, Del secures them a motel room for the night, after most hotels are booked by the other stranded passengers. Unfortunately, Del forgets to make sure the room has more than one bed. The next morning, they discover that a thief has broken into their room and stolen their traveling cash, totally $963.00 between them.

Neal is more than grateful to part ways with Del, blaming him for most of their misfortunes, and having had his fill of Del’s obnoxious personality and incessant conversation.

But as Neal’s problems keep piling up, his own blood pressure nearly shoots through the roof. He rents a car, only to find an empty parking space where his rental should be. Running into Neal again, Del provides him with a ride in his own rented car. But they barely avoid a collision with two oncoming trucks, due to Del’s negligent driving, as they drive on the wrong side of the highway. They walk away from the rental car, shell-shocked, as it catches fire, and they watch it burn up from a safe distance. Neal finally has a reason to smile, seeing Del get a taste of his own destructive medicine. Until Neal realizes that Del had “borrowed” his credit card to rent the vehicle after their money was stolen.

Neal finally says good-bye to Del and boards a train headed for home. Riding peacefully over the rails, he anticipates the Thanksgiving feast with his family in his warm, inviting house.

Which leads him to question some references Del had made about his wife, Marie. Paricularly an odd statement that Del had not been home in years.

Neal returns to the train station to find Del still there, alone on a bench. Del confesses that Marie died eight years earlier, and he’s now homeless.

Neal’s blood pressure has settled a little by now. He sees that some things are more important than a person’s obnoxious habits. Like showing kindness and hospitality to a friend in need. He invites Del to spend Thanksgiving with his family.

If you’re dreading the time you’ll spend with certain people at Thanksgiving or other holiday celebrations, ask yourself how much those annoying habits really matter. Overlooking the little things might open a door for a better relationship with that person, one in which they can learn to respect and accept you in the same way.

Instead of focusing on the things that irritate you, focus on that person’s good qualities and enjoy the time you have with them. You might not always have the opportunity to appreciate it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Find more reviews of “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

Pressure to conform to others’ prejudices can turn us into people we never meant to become. When our family and friends tell us who to like and who to hate, we’re on dangerous and unstable ground. The “us or them” mentality doesn’t leave much room for making wise choices, let alone moral ones. Especially when we’re warned that supporting an “outsider” will place us in that same enemy camp. The message is clear: hate our enemies, or become our enemy, too.

In the film, “Freedom Writers”, first time teacher Erin Gruwell (Hilary Swank) tries to connect with a class that lives by bigotry and gang violence. The racial tensions seethe within them like volcanoes ready to explode. Someone could easily get killed just for crossing the lines of another group’s turf.

So Erin decides to create a new line.

Taping a line down the center of her classroom, she tells the students to stand on it if they own the latest Snoop Dog CD. Most students step proudly onto the line, only to discover they’re sharing it with another hated student, from a different gang and a different race.

Erin instructs them all to step back, then asks them to step on the line if they know where they can get drugs right now. Several students again step on the line, and again are aggravated to see one of their rivals standing with them, almost nose-to-nose.

Erin continues asking questions, helping the students discover their similarities instead of their differences. Finally, she asks if anyone has lost a friend to gang violence.

Nearly everyone in the class steps on the line.

She tells them to stay on the line if they have lost two friends.

Most of them remain where they are.

“Three,” Erin says.

A handful of students step back.

“Four or more.”

A small group remains on the line, from different gangs, of different races. Staring at one another with rage, mixed with sorrow. The grief wins out, as they start to recognize that their real enemy is the violence they all live with.

Erin suggests that they honor the memory of those fallen friends for a few moments, by speaking their names aloud. The students all do so, reverently.

Gradually, Erin finds more ways to break down the racial barriers, and the kids start to see one another as classmates, not members of an enemy race.

Erin later invites Jewish survivors of the Holocaust to speak to her class. One man bares his arm, showing the number he had been given at a concentration camp. Proof that he suffered through the terror of extreme bigotry, and survived.

Erin secures a special guest visit from Miep Gies (Pat Carroll), who had hidden Anne Frank and her family from the Nazis during World War II. One student, Marcus (Jason Finn), tells Miep what a hero she is. Miep refuses the compliment, stating she was not acting as a hero, but only doing what was right.

This inspires another student, Eva (April C. Hernandez), to testify honestly in court about a murder she witnessed. Although her family and friends knew that Eva’s Hispanic boyfriend was the real shooter, they had insisted that Eva protect “her own” – meaning her own race, by lying about what she saw. Eva had planned to do so, letting another person take the blame – someone of another race.

But when she is asked to identify the shooter, Eva shocks everyone by pointing to her boyfriend. She had been all too eager to bury the truth, favoring her own race at the expense of another. But her eyes had been opened to the deadly danger of prejudice. Instead of making decisions based on a person’s race, she had chosen to pursue truth.

Family and friends can push you view certain people as “them”. Don’t let their hatred infect your mind or your heart. When we let go of our assumptions, we discover that other people are not so different from us after all.

In fact, most people are a lot more like “us” than “them”.

Find more reviews of “Freedom Writers” at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

The generation gap always seems to widen when kids become teenagers. When their friendships with peers and activities outside the family start to make their parents strangers to them. Soon, all adults become incapable of understanding what those kids are saying, what they feel, what matters to them.

And then those adults just give up. Not realizing they’ve never actually tried to listen.

The film, “Freedom Writers”, is based on the true story of Erin Gruwell, a teacher who helped high schoolers find purpose and hope for themselves, by expressing their personal struggles of growing up in a violent neighborhood. The personal testimony of their daily struggles was later compiled in a book, The Freedom Writers Diary.

In the movie, Erin (Hilary Swank) is thrilled to start her first teaching job at Woodrow Wilson Classical High School. But after she arrives, she discovers that her class is filled with “at-risk” students who are considered “unteachable”, and that physical fights and gang-style violence are to be expected. The principal refuses to let Erin supply her students with any textbooks, expecting them to only be stolen or damaged. Instead, she suggests that Erin teach the students basic discipline, insisting that it is the most they can accomplish.

Erin struggles to make the classes meaningful.

To get her students to listen.

To get them to stop erupting into physical fights during class.

One day, Erin discovers that a student has made a racist caricature of a Black classmate, Jamal (Deance Wyatt) and has passed it around the room. Until it came across the desk of the Jamal himself, who now feels humiliated in front of all his peers.

Erin makes an example of it to the class, telling them how such propaganda was used during the Holocaust to convince German citizens that the Jews and the Blacks were the cause of all of their problems. “Scientific” data was published to convince the Germans that these people were less intelligent and less trustworthy. Once people became convinced that Jewish people and Black people were less than human, it became easy to murder them without feeling guilty.

Erin goes on to challenge the students’ poor choices for their lives, choosing to hate and destroy one another. The kids argue that they’ll all die, anyway, so they prefer to die as legends fighting for their ethnic pride. One boy, Marcus (Jason Finn), explains it for her. “We in a war. We graduating every day that we live because we ain’t afraid to die, protecting our own. At least if you die for your own, you die with respect. You die a warrior.”

Erin boldly shatters their delusions. “You know what’s going to happen to you when you die? You’re going to rot in the ground. And people are going to go on living, and they’re going to forget all about you. And when you rot, do you think it’s going to matter whether you were an original gangster? You’re dead. And nobody – nobody is going to want to remember you. Because all you left behind in this world is this!” She holds up the racist cartoon for the class, showing them what their prejudiced lives amount to.

Her words hit home, as the students start to recognize the violent trap they’re living in. A trap they’re helping create.

When one student asks what “the Holocaust” is, Erin is stunned. She tells the class, “Raise your hand if you know what the Holocaust is.”

One white student sheepishly raises his hand.

Erin then says, “Raise your hand if anyone in this classroom has ever been shot at.”

Every other hand goes up.

The bell rings, and the students file out quietly, as Erin stands, grieved and shell-shocked by her own ignorance. These kids didn’t need to know about the Holocaust; they were living it.

She tries a new approach, introducing the kids to the practice of journaling. She gives them each a personal booklet to write in, to write whatever they want, without fear of censorship. She encourages them to make it their own, as a way to express their feelings and thoughts. She tells them if they want her to read what they’ve written, they can leave their journal in a closet, which will be locked up after class ends.

At her first parent-teacher meeting, Erin is even more discouraged when no parents show up. Her students’ parents don’t seem to care, while the other teachers have all met with the parents of more accomplished students.

Then Erin notices that the classroom closet has been filled with journals, from every single student! She spends the evening reading through their entries, and soon finds herself heartbroken.

The kids have written about their fears, the pressures they’re under, the dangers they live with. They write about being abused by parents, seeing friends killed, being sent to juvenile hall and forever labeled a criminal, getting evicted, being hated for their skin color, and more.

Erin realizes that these are the things these kids have been wanting to say all along.

If only someone would take the time to listen.

Erin has decided to be that someone.

If you’re a parent or an adult, the teenagers you know might not be going through the same kind of horrors that these kids suffered. Or … they might. You won’t really know until you invite them to talk to you, and start building a relationship of unconditional acceptance. It will probably take time, especially if the walls of communication have been torn down in the past. But you can start demonstrating today that you’re ready to listen to them with an open mind and heart, and without judgment.

If you’re a teenager, don’t assume that parents and adults won’t listen to you. Sooner or later, you’ll find someone who’s willing to listen to your story and believe you, and accept you for who you are. Someone who can help you deal with the things you’re going through. But you have to start looking, and not give up on people. Somewhere there’s an adult like Erin who’s willing to listen with her heart, who can support you and help you find a new way to cope.

If all else fails – if you can’t find anyone to listen to your story – write it down. I’ve learned that simply writing down your thoughts or ideas can bring healing to your heart, helping you to better understand yourself and your deeper feelings, and to find new solutions for your life.

Try talking. Try listening. Try journaling.

Any of these will be a great way to try hoping again.

Find more reviews of “Freedom Writers” at amazon.com!

Read the book that inspired the movie, The Freedom Writers Diary at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

Sooner or later, our children are likely to disappoint us. It might be in something minor, like a choice of friends, clothes, or career. Or it might be in something highly significant, when one of our kids pursues a destructive path in life, making choices that we would never have made.

Our disappointment often comes from our frustration at being powerless to help them. How can we help when we don’t even understand? When our children act in ways that make no sense to us? The reality is that our children are not carbon-copies of us. As they grow older, they explore different styles, different interests, different opportunities.

They become different.

We can’t expect our children to grow up believing everything we tell them, or agreeing with us on every issue. Unfortunately, some hard truths must actually be experienced before they sink in. We can warn our children of the dangers out there, and advise them how to handle life’s challenges. But we can’t live out their lives for them. They’ll have to make some of those choices on their own, and deal with the consequences.

In the Green Lantern/Green Arrow story, “Snowbirds Don’t Fly”, the heroes chase after a group of drug addicts in an attempt to find their supplier. Green Arrow knows a little more about the drug problems than Green Lantern, immediately recognizing the symptoms of withdrawal from the young addicts, known on the street as “snowbirds”.

He soon runs into Roy Harper, otherwise known as his old superhero partner, Speedy (think Robin to Green Arrow’s Batman). He’s happy to see Roy in his civilian identity, hanging with the addicts, working undercover to break up their racket. Roy doesn’t have much information yet, but his “buddies” are eager to turn in their drug pushers, since they both want to kick the habit.

Unfortunately, they’re leading Green Lantern and Green Arrow into a trap. The pushers attack the heroes and get them high while they’re unconscious, leaving them in an alley for the police to find. Roy arrives in time to lead them away to safety.

When Green Lantern questions why anyone would turn to drugs in the first place, Roy tries to enlighten him, explaining that some kids have needs that go unmet, so they try to meet it with drugs. Green Arrow has no sympathy for Roy’s sob story.

A minute later, Green Arrow discovers Roy himself, shooting up with a needle. His young protégé has become a junkie!

He doesn’t react well. In a rage, he slaps Roy across the room, refusing to hear any of his excuses for his problem. Roy walks out, knowing he and Green Arrow are through.

Leaving Green Arrow alone with his guilty and confused thoughts, wondering the same thing every parent wonders when their kids go astray: “Where did we go wrong?”

Green Lantern later finds Roy in an alley, and flies him to Black Canary’s place to get help. He asks Roy why he chose to take drugs when he knew the dangers. Roy tells him, “I had the sermons thrown at me! But, Lantern, your generation has been known to lie, dig it? You’ve told us war is fun … skin-color is important … a man’s worth is the size of his bank account … all crocks! So why believe your drug rap?”

So often, parents are shocked when their children rebel and take an opposite path in life. Sometimes, it can be trivial, such as choosing a different extracurricular activity, a different career interest, or a different hairstyle or clothes. Other times, it can be something significant, such as hanging out with unsafe friends, planning illegal activities, or starting dangerous habits. If parents major on the minor issues of style and career interests, kids are not likely to listen to them about other issues that will actually matter in their lives.

The problem comes when parents expect their children to think and act the way they do, in everything. We all want our kids to learn our values, about the way to protect themselves and show kindness to others. But we sometimes confuse the issues of style – such as whether your child wants to dye their hair blue – with issues of actual safety – such as whether they want to date a forty-year old they met online. I decided a long time ago that I would rather raise a child with pierced eyebrows and orange hair who shows compassion and kindness, than a well-groomed brat who looks down on others and has no integrity. What’s going on inside matters a lot more to me than the style they wear on the outside.

Roy ultimately overcomes his habit. Green Arrow’s rough treatment encourages him to prove that he can be just as strong, or stronger, than his intolerant mentor.

Once he’s clean, Roy thanks Green Arrow for indirectly helping him … by punching him in the jaw. When Green Arrow asks why, Roy tells him it’s a way of sharing the pain he’s experienced for the last few days. The same pain that a lot of addicts still suffer through. Roy leaves, with plans to help his other friends beat their addictions. Green Arrow watches him go, with a new swell of pride. His former sidekick is not like him, but is growing up to be a man that any mentor would be proud of.

It can be scary to watch our kids make bad choices, especially when we know what they could have done to avoid that pain. Especially when we can’t understand what they’re going through, or why they made that choice.

But in the end, we can’t expect our kids to become like us. We can only guide them in what matters most – things like integrity, justice, compassion, and courage – and help them learn to become responsible, caring adults. Once they achieve this, however they get there, they probably won’t look or act like us.

But hopefully, they’ll gain the freedom to be themselves.

Find more reviews of Green Lantern/Green Arrow Vol.2 at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

A common war strategy tells us that we should know our enemy. That is, we should know their strengths, skills, and mindset in order to defeat them. Knowing what they’re capable of and what they’re likely to do gives us an advantage over them in battle.

However, this does not necessarily constitute knowing your enemy. It simply involves knowing about them, like a fan who stalks rock stars and knows the musician’s birthday, favorite ice cream, and brand of toothpaste. This is information about a person, but it does not necessarily show that you know them. The rock star’s next door neighbor might not know any of those details, but they probably know the person far better than the obsessive fan who is studying their life.

We can think that we know someone who has become our enemy. We figure out what to expect from them and how they think, so that we can outsmart or outfight them. But in all of our evaluation, we can easily forget that our “enemy” is still a person, with hurts and fears just like ours.

The film, “How to Train Your Dragon”, shows a village in crisis, where Norse Vikings are constantly under attack from bat-winged, fire-breathing dragons who steal their food. The Vikings have been at war with these various kinds of dragons for years.

One young Viking, Hiccup, shows little promise for ever developing the strength, skill or brainpower to slay a dragon, despite his many attempts and inventions. He’s a joke to the village community and an embarrassment to his dragonslaying father, Stoick.

Until one day, when one of Hiccup’s inventions succeeds in wounding a dragon, laying him flat on the ground. And not just any dragon, but a Night Fury, the most dangerous of them all, never even seen by another Viking.

Finding it, Hiccup prepares to run it through with his sword, to claim his well-earned glory among the community. But, seeing the dragon’s wide eyes, he hesitates. Then he decides, instead, to release it.

Soon after that, he invents a balancing tail fin to attach to the dragon, to replace the one it had lost in its fall. He soon finds that the dragon needs more than just the fin to fly again. He needs Hiccup to ride atop him and guide the fin. Hiccup soon becomes the first Viking to ride one of their feared enemies!

When the dragon, whom Hiccup nicknames “Toothless”, carries him away to a high mountain, a few baby dragons approach them. Giving them some food, Hiccup soon finds himself petting a small dragon, as it nuzzles happily against him like a pet dog. He is stunned to find that he has nothing to fear from the creature. “Everything we know about you guys is wrong,” he realizes.

Hiccup eventually discovers that the dragons are enslaved by a monstrous dragon ten times larger than the others, the “queen bee” of the dragon’s nest. It is this dragon that demands an endless supply of food from the dragons, causing them to fly off and steal from the Vikings.

But when Stoick learns that Hiccup has discovered the dragon’s nest, the secret lair the Vikings have been seeking all along, he captures Toothless and forces him to lead their ship to it. He refuses to listen to Hiccup’s arguments that the dragons themselves are not the problem. He has fought dragons for too long to believe that they could be an innocent party.

Hiccup leads his friends and a band of other dragons to rescue Toothless and fight the monster dragon, finally bringing peace back to their village, where dragons are now welcome.

When Hiccup’s friend, Astrid, asks why he refused to kill Toothless the moment he found him, he confesses,  “I wouldn’t kill him because he looked as frightened as I was. I looked at him … and I saw myself.”

Perhaps your “enemy” is not so different from you as you think. Consider things from their perspective, and you might find a new sense of compassion, and even appreciation, for someone you presumed was standing in your way.

When you learn to truly know your enemy – instead of just knowing about them – you might discover a new friend.

Find more reviews of “How to Train Your Dragon” at amazon.com!