Holmes had taken out his watch, and as minute followed minute without result, an expression of the utmost chagrin and disappointment appeared upon his features. He gnawed his lip, drummed his fingers upon the table, and showed every other symptom of acute impatience. So great was his emotion, that I felt sincerely sorry for him, while the two detectives smiled derisively, by no means displeased at this check which he had met.

“It can’t be a coincidence,” he cried, at last springing from his chair and pacing wildly up and down the room; “it is impossible that it should be a mere coincidence. The very pills which I suspected in the case of Drebber are actually found after the death of Stangerson. And yet they are inert. What can it mean? Surely my whole chain of reasoning cannot have been false. It is impossible! …”

 

A Study in Scarlet introduces Sherlock Holmes, the world’s greatest crime-solving mind. He thinks so, too. He doesn’t see it as arrogance, however. He is merely stating a fact. After all, when Holmes later unravels case after mystifying case, we all discover that he really is the world’s greatest crime-solver.

Still, the neighborhood watchdogs from Scotland Yard don’t agree, and they certainly don’t like Holmes telling them about the superiority of his methods compared to theirs. Thus, when Holmes fails – yes, actually fails! – in his attempt to prove his deductive theory for the case at hand, Inspectors LeStrade and Gregson are all smirks. They soak in the glory of the moment, as their rival is caught with egg on his face.

It’s always tempting to gloat when someone finally gets what you feel they deserve. But if we all got what we truly deserved, for all the little crimes and misdemeanors we’ve committed against others by what we say and do, there wouldn’t be much left of any of us. As Mahatma Gandhi observed, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind [attributed].”

No one deserves to be humiliated or shunned, or to suffer horribly. Not even an enemy. And certainly not someone who simply irritates you or makes you jealous. The joy of Scotland Yard’s finest quickly fades when Sherlock Holmes realizes the missing ingredient to his experiment. Once he adds this in, his theory is proven true and his reputation is vindicated. Then his smug rivals are the ones with egg on their faces.

Don’t celebrate when someone falls flat on their face, no matter who they are. Help them up. The joy you feel over someone’s downfall will quickly evaporate. But the kindness you show to someone who deserves your wrath will be remembered for a long time.

Check out Sherlock Holmes: The Complete Novels & Stories, Volume I at amazon.com! 

Over twenty years ago, Weird Al Yankovic started making a living by performing parodies of hit songs. But in the midst of singing silly songs about food and spoofing the musical styles of Michael Jackson and Nirvana, he started poking fun at something else: our flawed human nature.

In fact, Weird Al attacked so many vices that his songs ultimately compiled several good examples of ways to not live your life. For this reason (and because he’s just so funny), I listen to Weird Al CD’s whenever I need a good laugh. Sometimes I need to laugh at an absurd, off-the-wall situation. Other times, I need to remind myself of things not to do, and attitudes not to adopt.

For those who have yet to experience this, I offer the following list of character-building (or flaw-demolishing) songs from Weird Al. With each song, I have included the character flaw that it attacks and a sample lyric. Listening to these song parodies reminds me of issues that I still need to overcome.

I hope you have the opportunity to listen to some of these songs about the stupid things we sometimes think and do, from the songlist I have titled, “Dare to Be Less Stupid”. Enjoy!

 

 

from Bad Hair Day:

 “Calling In Sick” – dishonesty and laziness

(“When I’m sick of taking abuse, I just make up some lame excuse. Freedom’s just seven digits away.”)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

from Poodle Hat:

“Couch Potato” – TV addiction

(“Look. If you had one shot to sit on your lazy butt and watch all the TV you ever wanted until your brain turned to mush, would you go for it? Or just let it slip?”)

 

“Trash Day” – sloppiness

(“Even though the garbage I knew would reek, thought that I could leave it for one more week.”)

 

“Wanna B Ur Lover” – superficial relationships and cheap come-ons

(“You’re absolutely perfect. Don’t speak now; you might spoil it.”)

 

 “Why Does This Always Happen to Me?” – self-centeredness

(“I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report about some devastating earthquake in Peru. There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive. On the Richter scale it measured 8.2. And I said, ‘God, please answer me one question? Why’d they have to interrupt “The Simpsons” just for this?’”)

 

“Ebay” – shopping addictions

(“Junk keeps arriving in the mail, from that worldwide garage sale … Don’t know why, the kind of stuff you’d throw away, I’ll buy on Ebay.”)

 

 

 

 

 

from Alapalooza:

 “Talk Soup” – making others to tolerate your bad behavior

(“I’m just an anorexic, co-dependent, bingo addict stripper born without a chin.
And I’m only comfortable talking about it when the whole wide world is listening in.”)

 

 

 

 

 

 

from Straight Outa Lynwood:

“I’ll Sue Ya” – power-tripping with frivolous lawsuits

(“I sued Taco Bell, ’cause I ate half-a-million Chalupas and I got fat!”)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

from Running with Scissors:

Jerry Springer – negative influences from the media

(“Once you start watching, there’s just no stoppin’. Your brain shuts down, then your IQ’s droppin’.”)

 

 

“It’s All About the Pentiums” – technocratic snobbery & materialism

(“My new computer’s got the clocks. It rocks! But it was obsolete before I opened the box!”)

 

“Your Horoscope for Today” – letting horoscopes run your life

(“The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud. Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver’s test.”)

 

 “Grapefruit Diet” – overeating

(“Oh, I think I’d sell my soul for a triple-patty melt. But I need a boomerang when I put on my belt.”)

 

 

 

If you’re ready to face these issues in your life, Weird Al can help you. Just don’t take yourself too seriously, and dare to be less stupid!

 

 

 

 

Adults sometimes have a painful habit of ignoring children. I’ve often been at gatherings where no one talks to the sole child or teenager in the group. They can’t tear themselves away from “adult talk” long enough to engage a child.

In “The Last Mimzy”, two children receive a powerful message from outer space. It’s beyond their understanding. In fact, it’s beyond the grasp of any human mind. But this message has little hope of reaching any adult ears. Not only is it coming through the voice of a small girl, Emma (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn), but she claims to have learned it all from her stuffed toy rabbit.

Not the sort of thing adults take seriously.

Especially Emma’s dad (Timothy Hutton), who’s so preoccupied with his job that he keeps missing out on family time. He can’t even put off work long enough to leave with them for their vacation at a lakeside cottage. When he comes home one evening, his middle grade son, Noah (Chris O’Neil), won’t answer his questions, but just keeps playing his video games. Dad shouldn’t be surprised.

His wife (Joely Richardson) insists that he’s not listening to her concerns about the kids, as he continues to try simple, quick solutions. When he shocks the family by joining them for breakfast one morning instead of rushing off to work, he tries to restore control. But he’s been too far removed for too long to grasp what’s happening. Until little Emma magically causes a pile of sugar to float in a beautiful pattern and dump itself onto his cereal bowl. Suddenly, the father recognizes that his family has developed some serious problems.

Even when the government gets involved, the parents have no idea what’s happening with the children and their strange new powers. In fact, no one can figure it out. Not the parents. Not the anti-terror task force. Not the government’s most brilliant minds.

Because no one ever bothers to ask the children. Emma is more than ready to explain everything, if anyone will listen and take her seriously. If they had, they would have realized that all of this bizarre activity would help save a dying race – a future race of humans – through the untainted DNA of someone like Emma. A child willing to listen. Even to a message coming from an otherworldly stuffed rabbit.

Next time your child has something to tell you, don’t assume that it’s unimportant. Even if they’re telling you about their tea party with their dolls or how to work their new video game. It may not save the planet, but taking some time to enter their world could save your family. And you’ll be surprised at what you can learn from kids, if you’re ready to listen.

 

Check out The Last Mimzy at amazon.com!

 

 

by Randall Allen Dunn

I perked up immediately when I heard the name: Leslie Thompkins. An episode of the animated Batman series was playing on TV. I was too busy with other chores to sit and watch it. Still, I kept sneaking peeks to find out what was happening.

As a boy in the 1970’s, I read what became my favorite Batman comic book story. Its message still haunts me. A sweet, elderly woman is nearly mugged as she walks through dangerous streets, but Batman chases off her attacker. Having expected his arrival, the old woman confesses that she doesn’t know why he always visits her on that night. Batman tells her it’s a reminder, “of where my life began, and where it will probably end.”

Batman had returned to Crime Alley, the slum district where his parents were killed by a thief on that same night, when he was only a boy. Seeing the brutal murder caused him to pursue mental and physical perfection in order to fight an obsessive war against crime. But he remembers this old woman as the only person who took time to approach him after his parents’ murder, offering to help him however she could. He remembered Leslie Thompkins.

Once he grew to adulthood and established his reputation as the fearsome Batman, most criminals had no desire to cross him. If they had known his affection for Leslie, they would never have threatened her. Drawn to her kindness, Batman is relentless in protecting her.

As they walk together, he asks why she stays in Crime Alley. She confesses that she once saw a horrible tragedy: a boy whose parents were murdered in front of his eyes. Since then, she has determined to remain in this awful neighborhood to try to do some good. Batman sees that she is fighting the same war that he is, but with different weapons. Leslie Thompkins fights with gentle kindness. It’s incredible what a frail woman’s generosity can do, and how it can transform the lives of those it touches. She didn’t need superpowers or a fancy name to make a difference.

Neither do you or I. Kindness can have a more far-reaching effect than brute force.

As I hear the cartoon end, Leslie Thompkins says of Crime Alley, “Good people lived here once.” Batman answers, “Good people still live in Crime Alley.”

 

 

Learn how you can be a hero like Batman or Leslie Thompkins, without donning a cape! Read Wisdom from the Batcave: How to Live a Super, Heroic Life by Cary A. Friedman at amazon.com! Friedman, a Jewish Rabbi, has served as chaplain at the Federal Correction Institute in Butner, NC, and as a spirituality consultant to the FBI’s Behavioral Science Unit in Quantico, VA. In easy-to-read chapters, he offers enlightening advice on how to be a hero at home, recognizing the value of family support, inspiring others, and holding to absolute moral values.

 

by Randall Allen Dunn

 

I sat down and leaned against the low wall. I could barely see over it now. With all the families huddled so near, and so many backs to me and so much chatter and soft singing to children, I thought I was hidden.

It was dark now and there was torchlight all over the city, and loud happy cries, and plenty of music. Cooking fires still, or maybe fires for warmth as it was a little colder. I was a little colder. I wanted to see what was going on below. Then I didn’t. I didn’t care.

An angel had come to my mother, an angel. I was not Joseph’s son.

 

 

In Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt, an adolescent Jesus grows up surrounded by family, and surrounded by mystery. He knows that he is unlike other children his age. He also knows that his parents and several family members know why. But none of them will tell him. Over time, he has to discover the truth for himself.

More remarkable than this fictionalized account of Jesus’ search for his true identity, however, is the author’s personal search for truth. This well-researched portrayal of the life of Christ was penned by Anne Rice, the famous author of Interview with a Vampire and its successive horror novels.

The paperback edition of Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt contains two revealing afterwords in which Anne Rice describes her return to her Catholic faith in 1998, after many years of resistance. She realized that, in many of her novels, she was questioning the nature of God, and the nature of people. She wanted to know how people and societies can be so passionately devoted to moral causes without any connection to God whatsoever. She questioned what morality is, what faith is, what life is, in various cultures throughout the world. She ultimately concluded that she didn’t have the answers, but that she believed in God. She writes:

 

I went from being a committed atheist, grieving for a lost faith which I thought was gone forever, to realizing that I not only believed in Jesus Christ with my whole heart, but that I felt an overwhelming love for him, and wanted to be united with Him both in private and in public through attendance at church. … I’d lost faith in atheism. It no longer made sense. I wanted to affirm the presence of God because I felt it. Yet I was tormented by a multitude of theological questions and social issues that I couldn’t resolve …

I realized that none of my theological or social questions really made any difference. I didn’t have to know the answers to these questions precisely because God did. … And why should I remain apart from Him because I could not grasp all that He could grasp?

 

When her husband suffered a terminal illness, he encouraged her to continue pursuing her newest goal: writing a series of books depicting the truth of Christ’s life. Although he remained a committed atheist, he praised her for her progress in researching the difficult subject.

 

I wanted to write the life of Jesus Christ. I had known that years ago. But now I was ready. I was ready to do violence to my career. …

Even then I did not know what my character of Jesus would be like.

I had taken in a lot of fashionable notions about Jesus – that he’d been oversold, that the Gospels were “late” documents, that we really didn’t know anything about him, that violence and quarreling marked the movement of Christianity from its start. I’d acquired many books on Jesus, and they filled the shelves of my office.

 

But in her research, she discovered to her amazement that many New Testament scholars, having dedicated their lives to studying Christ, didn’t respect the subject of their studies. And she found no evidence to support any of their theories, which seemed to be based on opinion and speculation.

 

I was unconvinced by the wild postulations of those who claimed to be children of the Enlightenment. And I had also sensed something else. Many of these scholars, scholars who apparently devoted their life to New Testament scholarship, disliked Jesus Christ. Some pitied him as a hopeless failure. Others sneered at him, and some felt an outright contempt. … I’d never come across this kind of emotion in any other field of research, at least no to this extent. It was puzzling.

The people who go into Elizabethan studies don’t set out to prove the Queen Elizabeth I was a fool. They don’t personally dislike her. They don’t make snickering remarks about her, or spend their careers trying to pick apart her historical reputation. … People studying disasters in history may be highly critical of the rulers or the milieu at the time, yes. But in general scholars don’t spend their lives in the company of historical figures whom they openly despise.

 

So Anne Rice decided to do something radical: to research the historical Jesus of the Bible. She spent years researching the Jewish customs of Jesus’ time, his family relationships, and the political turmoil the Jews faced under Roman occupation. The result is a surprising view of Jesus that highlights the miraculous, without ever losing the sense of his humanity and helplessness.

 

This is a book I offer to all Christians – to the fundamentalists, to the Roman Catholics, to the most liberal Christians in the hope that my embrace of more conservative doctrines will have some coherence for them in the here and now of the book. I offer it to scholars in the hope that they will perhaps enjoy seeing the evidence of the research that’s gone into it, and of course I offer it to those whom I so greatly admire who have been my teachers though I’ve never met them and probably never will.

I offer this book to those who know nothing of Jesus Christ in the hope that you will see him in these pages in some form. I offer this novel with love to my readers who’ve followed me through one strange turn after another in the hope that Jesus will be as real to you as any other character I’ve ever launched into the world we share.

 

Thank you, Anne Rice, for diligently seeking the truth.

 

Check out Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt at amazon.com!