I wasn’t sure if I would like “The Lake House”. My wife picked the movie. (Guys, here’s a hint: an occasional chick flick movie is very good for your relationship. Most women can only appreciate so many explosions.) It had a weird-sounding plot: two would-be lovers who are using the same lake house, but two years apart.

Huh???

It turned out to be one of the best movies I had seen in a while. A Twilight-Zone-style scenario that formed an intriguing and powerful love story. I won’t give anything away, but the strong underlying message is about waiting for love, and waiting for the right person. A few times, Kate (Sandra Bullock) refers to her favorite book, Persuasion. She explains that this classic romance is about two people who meet, but it’s not the right time for them to be together, so the relationship never works out. “Why do you like that?” Alex (Keanu Reeves) jokes. “That’s terrible.”

However, in this movie, a right time is coming, if Kate and Alex will persevere in waiting for it.

I waited a long time for the right person to marry. Not because I wanted to wait, but simply because I never found the right person until I was 29. When I found Nicki, we both knew very quickly that we would be together forever.

Is there something you’re waiting for? Remember that patience and perseverance will eventually pay off. But if you lose patience and settle for grabbing what’s available today, you may miss what’s waiting for you tomorrow.

Determine whether the thing you’re waiting for is truly valuable. That is, something that will benefit you for a long time to come. Don’t just go for the glitz and glamour of a new sportscar or a fancy home or a supermodel girlfriend. Those things look like ideal on the surface, but they sometimes come with a heavy price.

Think about what will last you for a few decades, when all the brightly colored finish wears off, and your insurance payments go up, and the makeup comes off. Will you still cherish that person or thing that first drew you? If you’re looking for what meets your long-term needs, not just the immediate gratification of your wants, the answer will probably be yes.

I’ve waited for some things for a long time, and I’m still waiting to add other things into my life. It’s frustrating to wait, and wait, and wait, questioning whether that thing you’ve long for will ever really come.

But once you’ve determined the lasting value of what you want, it’s much easier to settle in and stay patient as you work to make it happen. Because you know it’s worth waiting for.

Check out The Lake House at amazon.com!

On Tuesday, the vast majority of Americans celebrated a feeling of pride and accomplishment in our growth as a country. What seemed like an impossible dream from Martin Luther King, Jr., to see an African-American president elected, had finally taken place.

It’s amazing to me that on such a day of celebrating America’s movement toward acceptance, many people worried over how the inaugural prayer would be delivered. After all, Rick Warren was known to be a devout evangelical Christian, who had given hints that he would publicly pray to Jesus without acknowledging the gods of any other faith. This is not very politically correct. Despite the pride of many Americans for how “tolerant” they are, some were angered by the possibility that an individual would actually cling to his religious beliefs, especially in front of others who might find those beliefs offensive.

I’m a Christian, but also part of an American society that provides freedom for all individuals, including freedom of speech and freedom of religion. If a Muslim had been invited to give the inaugural prayer in our country and stated that he would pray to Allah, I would not expect him to pray to someone else so that I would be less offended. Why should Rick Warren, or any other Christian, pray to someone other than Jesus?

I don’t know much about Rick Warren and have yet to read his book, The Purpose-Driven Life, but the following excerpts from an interview with him shed some light on the book, his beliefs, and his character. Reading about his self-sacrificing commitments makes it clear to me why the president might have chosen him to deliver the inaugural prayer. I hope you will find the same.

Thanks to Suzanne Garrison for providing the excerpts!

People ask me, What is the purpose of life?

And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body– but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act – the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys – you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain. But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don’t think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God’s purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don’t get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn’t put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He’s more interested in what I am than what I do.

That’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings.

Find more reviews of The Purpose-Driven Life at amazon.com!

If ever anyone needed some help, it’s Vincent Gambini. Asked to defend his cousin, Bill (Ralph Macchio), for a homicide case in a small Alabama town, Vinny is way out of his depth. For one thing, unbeknownst to his optimistic cousin, Vinny has never tried a case.

For another, Vinny lacks the professional demeanor that people expect from most lawyers. By contrast, he’s crass, sloppy, and completely ignorant of Alabama’s legal system. But he’s got a lot of guts and a lot of street smarts to help him keep afloat.

Unfortunately, they don’t help him avoid being thrown out of court and into the county jail – repeatedly – for contempt.

Leaving the jail to return to his hotel room one evening, he finds his girlfriend, Lisa (Marisa Tomei), poring through the thick tome of Alabama law that had been handed to Vinny by the hard-nosed Judge Haller (Fred Gwynne). He takes the book from her and – somewhat respectfully – asks her not to read it. Vinny doesn’t think she can help. Or perhaps he’s afraid that she can. Working his first case ever, Vinny wants to prove to himself that he can do it, all on his own.

A lot of people feel that way. In America, we often hear people talk about maintaining their pride (as if our egos require much maintenance). Some older people tell stories about how they “pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps”. I’m not sure what circumstance would make someone use a bootstrap to pull himself up, but I’m sure there’s an easier way. Like asking for help.

Some tasks are solitary by nature. An Olympic athlete. A musician. A writer.

But that athlete is surrounded by trainers and business associates who arrange places to train. That musician needs people to help promote them, and provide continuing instruction so they can improve.

They’re not alone. I’m not alone as a writer, either. Yes, I have to write by myself, but I constantly solicit feedback from helpful friends and family. It helps me find out what I’ve gotten wrong. As “perfect” as my writing is, it’s always nice to have someone else checking it for mistakes. Sometimes people notice problems I would never have caught on my own. And I’m grateful for the help. (Thank you, friendly error-finding critics!)

Vinny would have done well to solicit Lisa’s help and advice. In spite of his insistence, she researches Alabama law and explains to Vinny that she learned about disclosure, a provision that requires the prosecuting attorney to share his own information with Vinny. She also provides expert testimony to help prove Vinny’s case, as well as helping him escape the jail sentence he would have served for practicing without a license.

Vinny’s not thrilled, let alone grateful. Learning all the ways that Lisa helped him aggravates him to no end. “I wanted to do it all myself!” he complains.

Lisa sarcastically apologizes for ruining his well-laid plans of saving himself and everyone around him. She claims to understand how terrible it is for him to have to owe someone else a favor for helping him. “You might have to even say, ‘thank you’. What a @#$ nightmare! [multiple expletives deleted]”

Vinny finally realizes his foolishness and thanks her. If it weren’t for Lisa, Vinny would have ended up publicly humiliated and jailed for fraud, and his innocent clients would have been executed for murder. Exercising the humility to say “thank you” seems like a small price to pay in exchange.

We all need help sooner or later. Don’t be too proud to accept it. There’s always a friend or family member who knows a lot more than we do about managing finances or fixing things that break. Or you might know someone who has the resources and connections you need to advance your career or solve your relationship problems.

Don’t worry about how you’ll look for needing help. On another day, you’ll have the chance to help that person, or to help another friend.

And won’t you hope that they accept it, too?

Find more reviews of My Cousin Vinny at amazon.com!

When I graduated from college, my first job was as a waiter at Pizza Hut. I was terrible. I couldn’t keep everyone’s order straight and I had little personality. I also soon learned that while waiters earn good weekend tips, it would never be enough to pay my half of the rent for the apartment I shared.

So I quit. I tried finding other jobs, but remained unemployed for about 45 days. With nothing better to do, I spent a couple of full days trying to create an original comic book that I hoped to sell. After all, I wanted to be a writer, not a waiter or a custodian or a movie usher. So that’s what I focused on, trying to do something new that would make a big difference.

My roommate wasn’t as thrilled. He didn’t say anything at the time, but later confessed his irritation at my spending an entire day working on something with no immediate payoff. In reality, it probably wouldn’t have paid off at all. Most college graduates don’t sell a book – even a comic book – a few months after they graduate. Most of them just get a job. Any job.

In the comedy, Night at the Museum, Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) suffers from this same problem. He’s tried several entrepreneurial ventures, such as inventing “the Snapper”, that makes house lights come on when the user snaps their fingers. He says it’s “debatable” whether this is really the same invention as “the Clapper”, a previous invention that actually made money.

His young son, Nick (Jake Cherry), is growing more and more disillusioned with Larry, who has hopped from one job and apartment to another over the last few years. Larry tries to reassure him, saying, “I know my break is coming. I can feel it.”

His son wisely asks, “But what if you’re just a normal guy who just needs to get a job?”

The reality is that, no matter what big plans and dreams we have, sooner or later we have to just get a job. Every great or famous individual started out as something far less significant. And many of the skills they needed to achieve ultimate success were learned on the job. Learning how to serve other people. Learning how to work with a team. Learning how to meet deadlines. Learning how to submit to authority.

I had a really rough time working through this issue, because I dreaded having to work at a job I hated. All I wanted to do was write.

A man at a temp agency pulled me aside and advised me to lose this tunnel vision of seeking only a writing position. Which was good advice, since there were no writing jobs to be found. He discussed my skills and challenged me to try something new, and he helped me land a job as a Customer Sales Representative at a bank. A bank that involved a 90-minute commute, a very distracted trainer, and a job for which I was clearly underqualified. The guy from the temp agency couldn’t have been more wrong about this job.

But he was right on the money regarding my tunnel vision. Yes, I had big dreams and I wasn’t about to lose them. But I also needed a job while I continued working on that dream.

A friend soon led me to a Customer Service job that I held as nine years, where I eventually contributed articles to the company magazine. Since then, I’ve taken other jobs that didn’t excite me. However, they helped pay my bills and put food on my table. So no matter how little they seemed to relate to my ultimate goals, they still helped me move ahead in life.

Larry soon discovers that his job isn’t as simple as he presumed. Everything in the museum comes to life at night, and it’s his job to protect everything from destroying other people or themselves. Not an easy task, and one which required a lot of skills and knowledge that Larry didn’t have. Until his more experienced supervisor, Cecil (Dick Van Dyke) advised him to “brush up on his history” to understand how things in the museum really worked. Soon, Larry is learning how to do something significant, when he had assumed he would be “just” a museum security guard.

If you’ve got big dreams, don’t lose them. But don’t sacrifice your present for your future dreams. Start at the bottom and work your way up. You might learn something that will help sustain you when you hit it big.

Find more reviews of Night at the Museum at amazon.com!