“When King Lear dies in Act Five, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He’s written, ‘He dies.’ That’s all, nothing more. No fanfare. No metaphor. No brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is, ‘He dies.’ … And I know it’s only natural to be sad, but not because of the words, ‘He dies’, but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I’ve lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I’m only asking that you turn the page, continue reading and let the next story begin. And if anyone ever asks what became of me, you relate my life, in all its wonder, and end it with a simple, and modest, ‘He died.’”

Mister Magorium (Dustin Hoffman), enigmatic owner of a magical toy store, is trying to explain his own departure to his legal heir, Molly Mahoney (Natalie Portman). He has already made it clear that he is “leaving this world” and even informed her of the time. “About 4:30,” he says.

But Molly doesn’t want him to leave. Nor does she want to try running the store by herself. It’s a magical store, after all, and she has no magic of her own.

Nonetheless, Mister Magorium is leaving.

Fear can stop us cold. We often have dreams we wish to pursue, for a new career, a new learning experience, a new relationship. But we fear the possibility of failure. So we avoid it by never trying.

Our fears can be magnified when we compare ourselves with those who have gone before us. People who have succeeded in reaching their goals, when we haven’t even started. Mister Magorium leaves behind a legacy of a life well-lived. He found wonder and joy in each moment, each experience. Even dancing on a mat of bubble-wrap, or using a public phone for the very first time. A bookbinding employee who lives in the store’s basement has compiled Magorium’s biography, which contains a full shelf of volumes.

Mahoney can’t compare. She sees no such life for herself, even though the bubble-wrap was her own idea. Even though she is a gifted musician. The difference lies in the willingness to take risks.

In contrast, Henry (Jason Bateman), the store’s first accountant ever, is quite busy pursuing his goals. More to the point, he is quite busy. When a lonely young boy named Eric (Zach Mills) tries to befriend him, inviting him to play checkers, Henry explains that he’s working. Eric asks him to play when he stops working. Henry answers, “I never stop working.”

I’ve met people who view life as a social ladder to climb. Their entire world is wrapped in the drive to succeed, to earn the next promotion, to win themselves a bigger office with a window view. Yet their goals often seem hollow. Full of hard work, but void of true joy or purpose. It seems as if their only reason for climbing higher on their career ladder is to reach the next rung, where it might pay better, but be a little bit lonelier.

Ultimately, Henry learns to see beyond what is immediate and practical, to rediscover the wonder he had in childhood through his new friendship with Eric, as he learns to play-act with Eric’s extensive hat collection. He also learns from Mahoney’s cajoling about his being a “just” person – someone who sees everything as “‘just’ a park bench, or ‘just’ a tree, or ‘just’ a toy store”, when it’s obvious to anyone else that the toy store is magical.

In the end, Henry’s belief in the toy store ignites Mahoney’s belief in herself. To do something unique and wonderful with her life. She discovers that Mister Magorium’s magic is in her as well, to bring the toy store back to life for the children, and for herself.

Life is meant to be lived. Not to be feared, because of the chance of failing, or to be missed, because of the pace of business. Life is an endless opportunity to accept new challenges and enjoy new experiences. To expect the unexpected miracles that can be seen each day, if we have eyes to witness it.

“Your life is an occasion,” Mister Magorium had challenged her. “Rise to it.”

 

 

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My favorite part of “Superman, the Movie” has nothing to do with comic book battles, super-villains’ schemes, or eye-popping special effects. Exactly the opposite, in fact.

It’s when Superman, as a teenage Clark Kent (Jeff East), is chided by his adoptive father, Jonathan (Glenn Ford), for a moment of “showing off” his super-powers to his peers. Clark is ashamed for disappointing his father, but remains frustrated at having to hide his abilities. A high school bully continues to get the best of him, because Clark can’t reveal how easily he could outrun and outfight him, let alone fly over his head. “I mean, if I get the football, I could score a touchdown every time,” he points out. “Is it showing off to do what you were made to do? Is a bird showing off when it flies?”

Jonathan explains that when Clark was a child, he and his wife kept Clark’s powers hidden. They feared that some authorities might come and take their son away if they knew of his abilities. “But a man gets older and he starts to think differently,” Jonathan reflects. “And one thing I know, Son, and that is that you are here for a reason.” He confesses that he hasn’t yet figured out what that reason might be. “But I do know this,” he assures Clark. “It’s not to score touchdowns.”

Clark accepts his father’s advice and feels better. Soon after this conversation, he begins to discover his true purpose, learning that he was sent to Earth to serve humanity in a way that no one else could. What if he had ignored his father and taken an easier route? Instead of waiting to discover his real purpose, Clark could have achieved football stardom and become a local hero. He could have squandered his gifts to gain popularity and pride, instead of serving others.

Don’t cheapen your own talents by using them for selfish purposes. Whatever gifts you have, they’re meant to be given. You may not always receive thanks for sharing them, but you’ll know that you’re serving the purpose you were put on this earth for: to be a blessing to others.

 

 

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Yeahhhh, okay.

Most women would not agree with that guy. I’m sure if the caller dared to let his wife share in that phone call, the entire listening audience would have heard a completely different opinion on the subject.

 

Say the words, say the words, say I love you
Say the words I long to hear

Women, especially, want to hear those words, but they’re not the only ones. Who wouldn’t want to hear a friend say how much they admire and respect him? Or hear a parent or teacher tell someone how proud they are of her? Everyone wants to be affirmed, in some way, and we want to hear it spoken out loud. Feelings of love and admiration are nice, but if they never actually reach the object of their affection, it doesn’t do that person much good.

The Christian hip-hop band, DC Talk, addressed this issue in their song, “Say the Words”.

Some just assume we already know
Of the love that they feel
Some have a heartfelt emotion
But never the words to reveal
I think we all relate, so why are we afraid
To let our hearts convey what were feeling?

I tell my wife I love her every day. And it’s not to convince myself of the fact. Nor is it an awkward act that I have to work up to performing, like some complicated maneuver. It’s a natural expression of how I feel about the person to whom I’ve committed myself.

If you love a certain football team, you’ve probably told someone so. You probably didn’t feel awkward about admitting it, or worry that you were just trying to “convince yourself” that you actually love that football team.

The more likely cause of this caller’s refusal to speak up is that he doesn’t know how to do so. He might feel awkward telling his wife that he loves her, because it seems unnatural. The way to overcome that is by simply spending time together.

 

Choose to lose the pride that may tug at you
Dont be afraid of the words I love you

We dedicate time and attention to the things we care about. If you love a particular TV show, you probably devote a lot of time to it. If you love someone, you will probably want to spend a good amount of time with them. You will also want to pay attention to them – their likes and dislikes, their opinions on certain issues, their habits and their hobbies. Knowing the person you love helps you love them better, through gifts or acts of kindness, or simply remembering something that’s important to that person.

If you’re not sure what your loved one really cares about, try spending a little more time with them. You don’t have to upset your entire schedule. Just plan for something extra. Take her out for lunch, or for a brief walk. Or just turn the TV off one evening and talk about her day. You may not be interested in all the details, but if something excited her, you can probably find something exciting in it, too. That passion she feels about certain things is part of what attracted you to her in the first place.

We develop relationships with the people we sit next to, at work or school or in community organizations. By spending time near each other, we get to know our co-workers and classmates, whether we want to or not. Amidst all their flaws, we can usually find something worthwhile about that person, if we look for it. So how hard will it be to find more beautiful qualities in your loved one by spending more time in the same room with her?

 

Terms of compassion will cause a reaction
As love drives them near

Simply being with your spouse can increase your interest in her and your appreciation for her uniqueness. Don’t just watch TV or read, or any other activities that cause you to mentally “check out”. Discuss your dreams and goals, your upcoming plans, or even the joys and frustrations of that particular day. If taking a walk or sitting down together for a chat isn’t that easy for you, set aside an evening to go out for a simple dinner or play a board game. Anything that gives you both a chance to truly interact.

You might rediscover the person you fell in love with. After that, saying the words “I love you” won’t be some difficult chore, and you won’t have to convince yourself that you mean it.

Because you honestly will.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Kate Armstrong (Catherine Zeta-Jones) has trouble letting go. She likes to maintain control of the things around her. Her apartment. Her love life, or lack thereof. And especially the kitchen she runs for a gourmet restaurant.

She doesn’t allow for mistakes from her kitchen crew, because she wants things to be done exactly right. She also feels a bit uncomfortable when her therapist (Bob Balaban) asks how long it’s been since her last relationship. “Isn’t that a little personal?” she says cautiously. She goes on to explain that she ended her last relationship several years ago when the man wanted her to give up her apartment and move in with him. She had no moral qualms about living with him. She just didn’t want to give up her apartment, in which she has everything she needs, exactly the way she wants it.

She doesn’t like change. Which makes it extremely difficult to start a relationship. Frankly, it makes it difficult to have any kind of friendships at all.

When asked on a date by a persistent neighbor, Kate explains that she doesn’t date people in her building. “It’s kind of a rule,” she clarifies.

He shakes his head, smiling. “You seem to have a lot of rules,” he says.

An ordered system or set of rules can remain unchanged. Relationships frequently change because people are always changing. Which means if you want to start new friendships, you have to be willing to change. To adopt new patterns and try new things that don’t fit into your ordered lifestyle. In short, to surrender some control of your life.

I’ve dated a few women who couldn’t decide whether they actually wanted to be in a relationship. This kept things very unclear – and often tense – between us. It’s hard to become good friends, let alone anything more, with someone who is wary of spending too much time with you.

Many people fear commitment in a relationship. They feel that they need to maintain their independence. For women, it’s usually a defense mechanism. They’ve been burned before, when they trusted someone who eventually betrayed them. So they keep other men – and a lot of other people – at arm’s length. Once bitten, twice shy.

For men, it’s often a fear of giving up one’s identity. Many women are all too willing to find their identity in a solid relationship with someone, to be joined to that person and let everyone know they’re a couple. Many men live under the delusion that such a relationship compromises their masculinity. They don’t want to be “chained down” to someone who makes demands on their time.

Maybe you’ve tried to date people like that. Maybe you’ve been that person. But staying independent in a relationship is an oxymoron. How can you be independent – one person, one life – if you’re in a relationship – two people, two shared lives?

If you want to start a relationship, you’re going to have to let your guard down. Let that other person into your world, and make time to enter theirs. Yes, it’s risky. There’s no guarantee that you won’t get burned again. You might be rejected, deceived, humiliated, or – worst of all – inconvenienced.

But the alternative is to play it safe and remain alone.

Kate starts to lose her own sense of control when her sister plans to visit her, bringing Kate’s niece, Zoe (Abigail Breslin), for a long-awaited visit. Unfortunately, Kate’s sister never makes it. A severe car accident cuts their trip short. Kate leaves the restaurant to meet Zoe at the hospital, and bring her the terrible news that her mother is dead.

When Kate then becomes Zoe’s guardian, life suddenly becomes very complicated. Though she’s a master chef, Kate has no idea what to feed a young girl. Let alone what to say to comfort Zoe or make feel at home in her shrinking apartment. How can Kate make Zoe feel like part of her family when she’s never made room for anyone else in her life?

What’s worse, while she’s on leave from work to help Zoe get settled, new chef Nick Palmer (Aaron Eckhart) has upset the atmosphere in her staff kitchen. Instead of the strict, orderly manner she left it in, her crew now laughs and jokes around with Nick, who also likes to sing opera while cooking.

Kate is not amused.

Unfortunately, she’s going to have to endure his changes, since she can no longer handle all the kitchen responsibilities on her own. With a little girl at home to look after, her workaholic lifestyle has to change.

But it’s in letting go that we find real security. Letting life take its course and learning to be flexible with whatever comes our way. Trying something new, even if we can’t imagine that we’ll enjoy it. Letting others take the lead, at least once in a while.

Take a look at the people who insist on controlling everyone around them. Do they seem happy? Or are they constantly stressed that things aren’t being done the way they wanted? Is life a constant disappointment to them, because it wasn’t what they hoped and planned for?

You can’t really plan for life. Life is a continual surprise, and no one knows what will happen next. If you’re willing to enjoy life, with all of its twists and turns and new developments, you can find true contentment. And if you make room for the new relationships that life brings you, you can become a much richer and more satisfied person.

Kate ultimately discovers the joys of being surprised by her rival chef and her unexpected daughter. Nick and Zoe persuade her – under duress – to let them cook her a meal from her own kitchen. For Kate, that’s real trust! It also turns out to be one of the best date nights she’s ever experienced.

Try letting go, and see what comes to you. You might be pleasantly surprised.

 

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