by Randall Allen Dunn

 

There’s no such thing as a sure bet. If it was guaranteed, they wouldn’t call it gambling.

 

 

Still, some people are convinced that they have superior luck, superior skill, or superior intelligence, which allows them to bypass the laws of nature and beat the odds. This is why some of these people keep betting even when the odds are heavily against them.

This is also why some of them are willing to wager expensive or precious items. Because they think they can’t possibly lose.

On a classic episode of the TV series, “Friends”, Monica (Courteney Cox) finds it preposterous that the guys assume they know them far better than they know the guys.

“Well … we do,” Chandler (Matthew Perry) humbly insists.

“Wanna bet?” Monica challenges. She then uses the opportunity to try to get Chandler and Joey (Matt LeBlanc) to give up their obnoxious bird that’s been driving the girls crazy with its loud, early morning squawks.

Chandler agrees, on one condition. “If you win, we’ll give up the bird. … But if we win … you give up your apartment.”

Monica barely hesitates. “Deal!” she says, eagerly shaking hands with Chandler while Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) blinks, stunned. She probably wanted to be consulted on whether they should wager their living space.

Being between jobs, Ross (David Schwimmer) has plenty of time to prepare the challenge game questions to determine which gender knows the other one better. Here’s a sampling of some of his outrageous and pinpoint-accurate questions:

 

Ross: “What was Monica’s nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?”

Joey: “‘Big Fat Goalie’.”

Ross: “Correct.”

 

Ross: “Rachel claims that this is her favorite movie.”

Chandler: “‘Dangerous Liaisons’.”

Ross: “Her real favorite movie is …?”

Joey: “‘Weekend at Bernie’s.’”

 

Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Monica: Maurice.
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Rachel: Space cowboy!

 

Ross: “What is Joey’s favorite food?”

Monica: “Sandwiches!”

 

Ross: “Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?”

Joey: “Everyday Use.”

Chandler: “Fancy.”

Joey: “Guest.”

Chandler: “Fancy Guest.”

Ross: “Two seconds …!”

Joey: “Uhh — Eleven??”

Ross: “Unbelievable. ‘Eleven’ is correct!”

 

Finally, the victory of the winning team hinges on one final question: What is Chandler Bing’s job?

The room is filled with blank faces. To the point that we wonder if even Chandler knows.

Since the girls – and, in fact, everyone else – cannot answer the question, the guys win! Much to the wailing of Monica and Rachel, who are then forced to give up their comfortable, spacious apartment and go live in Chandler and Joey’s cramped, smelly dwelling.

On the day of the apartment trade, Chandler and Joey are eager to move in. But Rachel and Monica make a final plea, asking if the guys really expect them to trade apartments. Joey shows no mercy, insisting that they hold up their end of the bet.

As he should.

Perhaps they shouldn’t have bet their apartment in the first place.

Especially when they discover just how disgusting the guys’ apartment really is.

I’m not going to tell you that making a bet is wrong. Sometimes betting on something can be fun, as long as you’re prepared to lose whatever you’re wagering. Because most of the time, the odds really aren’t in your favor.

If you can’t afford to lose it, you can’t afford to bet.

 

Find more reviews of “Friends” Season 4 at amazon.com!

 

by Randall Allen Dunn

 

For many years after it came out in 1984, “The Karate Kid” remained my favorite film. Along with the nice feel-good surge of adrenaline it brings, there were other reasons I loved the movie that I couldn’t quite identify at the time. After all, I was only a kid.

 

 

Watching the movie again recently, along with the DVD extras about the making of the film, I discovered more of the reasons this film meant so much to me, and to so many others. It’s not really about revenge or standing up to bullies. It’s not about having a friendship with a brilliant but humble father-figure like Mr. Miyagi, although that’s a large part of it. It’s not even about karate, really.

It’s about choosing to grow up.

Sooner or later, everyone has to face down a threat. It might be a bully at school. It might be an overwhelming project, or the fear of failing to complete it. It might be a pattern of unhealthy behavior, such as alcoholism or chronic self-pity.

Whatever the threat, we have to face it down, sooner or later. We can run from it, but we will eventually face it again, in another form. We can pretend it’s not real, but the reality will eventually make itself clear to us, and to those around us.

When Daniel Larusso (Ralph Macchio) moves from New Jersey to California, he quickly makes enemies with Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka) and his friends, all of whom are well-trained in karate. Their sensei, Mr. Kreese (Martin Kove) teaches them to show no mercy to any opponent who challenges them. Which means they beat up on Daniel a lot.

Daniel is rescued from the bullies by Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita), who then agrees to teach him karate so that Daniel can face down the bullies in a tournament. While training him in martial arts, Miyagi also teaches him about life. How to treat others. How to work hard. How to avoid a fight whenever possible. Daniel is finally finding a solution to his all-consuming bully problem.

Then he encounters Mr. Miyagi one night, drunk in his home and dressed in his military uniform from days gone by. Miyagi babbles in his drunken stupor about his lovely wife, who was preparing to deliver their first-born child in the United States. Miyagi begins crying and moaning with grief, until he finally passes out.

Then Daniel discovers a note that Miyagi had been clutching, which reveals that Miyagi’s wife and child had both died, due to complications in childbirth. Daniel gently covers his teacher with a blanket, blows out a candle, and turns to leave him in peace. Before leaving, he faces his sensei and bows to him. It is a sign of great respect, because only Daniel knows that he is showing Miyagi this honor. It is a choice that he makes for himself, when he realizes that he’s not the only one who has suffered pain in life. Even his master has been deeply wounded, but has persevered in spite of his tragic loss.

The next morning, at the crack of dawn, Daniel begins training on his own. Miyagi has spent weeks teaching him what to do, so he’s ready to just start doing it himself.

Daniel has decided to grow up.

The whole point of having a leader is that we learn to become leaders ourselves. Our parents and teachers invest themselves into our lives, with the hope that we will grow up to become something better. And when we truly grow up, we can prepare to mentor someone else.

Mr. Miyagi is a wonderful surrogate father to Daniel. But he wasn’t always that way. At one point in life, he was broken and crushed by the heartache of losing his entire family in a single day. But he chose to embrace life, rather than become bitter.

Giving us hope that we can grow up, too. And perhaps even become a leader like him.

Happy Father’s Day!

 

Click picture at above left for “The Way of the Karate Kid” segment which discusses the impact of the above scene.

 

Find more reviews of “The Karate Kid” at amazon.com!

 

“Respect for the dead” is a strange thing. When someone dies, it seems to absolve them from all harsh judgment. We don’t wish to speak an ill word against the dead, no matter how they lived their life. The greediest, cruelest, most violent person can even be treated as a saint after their death, as everyone tries to find the nicest things to say about them.

In some ways, this is a great tradition. Why not set aside the sins of the past, now that there is no opportunity to change or make amends? Unfortunately, this tradition tends to have less to do with forgiveness than with social etiquette. We simply don’t want to embarrass the surviving friends and family members by admitting that the person lying in the casket acted horribly in life. It seems pointless and distasteful to criticize a corpse, so we don’t.

Unless we decide that the person lived so shamefully that they don’t deserve any polite treatment at all, even in death.

In John Wayne’s final film, “The Shootist”, he portrays J.B. Books, an aging gunslinger with a nasty reputation for violence. He insists that he never shot anyone who didn’t deserve it. He had even been a lawman at one point. But his fearsome and dangerous reputation precedes him as he tries to slip quietly into Carson City, Nevada, a town that might become his final resting place.

J.B. Books is dying. At least, that’s what one doctor told him. He came to Carson City to seek a second opinion from a trusted friend, “Doc” Hostetler (James Stewart), who sadly confirms the report: Books has cancer.

Hostetler agrees to keep the diagnosis quiet and refers Books to the house of a widow, where Books can find lodging. But when Carson City Marshal Walter J. Thibido (Harry Morgan) learns of Books’ arrival, he visits him with a demand to leave their safe little town in peace by boarding the next train. Books confesses his predicament, which delights Marshal Thibido to no end. He asks Books how long he has left, and if there’s anything he could do to hurry his death along.

It’s all too clear that no one will miss Books when he leaves this world. Nor will they miss the violence that usually accompanies him.

In all of this, there is no compassion for the dying man sitting in his quiet little boarding house room. The judgment on his life comes in the form of derision, hatred, disgust, manipulation and rage from those around him. The only true kindness he receives is from Doc Hostetler, and from Bond Rogers (Lauren Bacall), the widow who runs the boarding house. Upon learning of his frightful reputation, Bond demands that he leave immediately. But upon learning of his tragic condition, she graciously allows him to stay, with his promise that he’ll cause her no trouble.

Trouble comes, anyway. After three men try to murder Books in the night and he guns them down in his room, Bond is outraged. She has no interest in Books’ pleas that he was defending himself.

Still, she continues to house him, even as the rest of her tenants seek a safer place to stay. No one could blame her if she tossed Books out. She could even persuade the local marshal to arrest Books if she wanted, and let him finish his final days in a cold jail cell.

But she doesn’t. She shows mercy.

People don’t practice mercy too much anymore. It’s so rare that most people don’t even know what the word actually means. To show mercy is to forego punishment. Choosing not to give someone the bad treatment they deserve.

Our society frowns on mercy. Instead, we promote revenge. The belief that if someone mistreats you, you should not turn the other cheek. You should find a way to treat them even worse, to teach them a lesson.

And that lesson would be that if someone wrongs us, we will seek revenge, and what we do in response will usually be more brutal than what was done to us. That allows us to ensure that the person never harms us again. Our fear drives us to strike back whenever we’re attacked, and to strike hard, until the threat is completely neutralized.

We never consider the fact that the “threat” is another human being. Perhaps even a dying man sitting in a lonely boarding house, no longer posing a threat to anyone.

Books deserved plenty of bad treatment, no question. The question is not about Books or people like him, who have spent a lifetime piling up cruel deeds.

The question is how we will respond to such people. When someone harms us, will we show them undeserved mercy or our harshest judgment?

The gavel is in your hand.

 

Find more reviews of “The Shootist” at amazon.com!

 

 

Many people spend years anticipating their wedding day, but fail to plan for the years of marriage that inevitably follow. Those years when the prediction of our wedding vows is fulfilled. You know, that promise to “have and to hold”, “in sickness and in health”, “for better or for worse …”

Why are we always surprised when things get worse?

How many people get divorced with the common complaint, “You’re just not the same person that I married.” Well, of COURSE not! Did they really expect their spouses to never change their habits or interests, their mood, or their hairstyle? Did they think their spouse would never get fat or wrinkled? Did they think they would always have plenty of money and always stay up late partying or watching TV? Did they think they would always have a night away with their friends, just for “me” time, even after they had a few kids running around the house?

Well, sooner or later, they’ll figure out that life doesn’t work that way. Everyone has to make adjustments in marriage, just like in any other friendship. Sometimes we have to make big adjustments, such as when our spouse or children suffer a serious illness. Or when we lose sleep or our spare time, because we have to work an extra job to make ends meet. Or when we have to just accept that our spouse – our best friend – is going through a rough time and just needs us to show a little extra patience.

In the film, “Monsters vs. Aliens”, Susan Murphy (Reese Witherspoon) is anxiously preparing for her wedding to Derek (Paul Rudd), the man of her dreams. A handsome, ambitious weatherman, Derek plans to secure a bright future for the two of them, starting with an exciting honeymoon in Paris.

Oh, wait. Cancel that. He explains to Susan, just before the wedding, that their honeymoon plans have changed. Instead of Paris, they’re going somewhere even better: Fresno.

Susan is a little confused. “In what universe is Fresno better than Paris?”

Derek tells her that he’s been asked there to interview for a job as a news anchorman. For some reason, it didn’t occur to him that he could postpone his personal dreams for a week so that he could go on his honeymoon.

But he qualifies that this isn’t just a personal victory for him; it’s for Susan, too. Everything he accomplishes is a personal win for both of them. After all, they’re a team now.

But the “team” soon falls apart, when a meteor lands right on top of Susan, burying her in the ground. Meteors are always bad luck at weddings.

Susan survives, but experiences some dangerous side effects. She starts getting big – really big – growing about fifty feet tall, until she busts through the church roof. She’s captured by a military detachment and detained in a secure holding facility for monsters. Considered a potential danger, she loses her freedom, along with any access to Derek or her family.

But after she and her fellow monsters help save Earth from an alien attack, Susan is given a temporary release to see her family and her fiancé.

Her fiancé, who hasn’t made any clear effort to try to find her since the accident.

Her fiancé, who wasn’t ready to meet Susan at her parents’ house when the government arranged for her release.

Her fiancé, who is actually busy at the studio again, making his final broadcast before moving on to his exciting new position.

Susan finds him there and enjoys a happy reunion with Derek, the doll-sized man of her dreams. Until he explains that it’s over.

He tells Susan that he can’t put is own life on hold just to try to help her with her gigantic problems of being gigantic. He has a career and a life to look forward to, and it doesn’t include getting bogged down by the emotional and sci-fi needs of a fifty-foot woman.

Susan soon figures out that they were never a “team”. Derek’s idea of a marriage team was more like a boss with underlings. He would pursue his own agenda, and his wife would help him get there. Her needs weren’t really part of his equation.

Oh, sure. Flowers and chocolate. A shoulder to cry on. Having a night out and taking romantic trips when he’s not too busy in Fresno.

But huge medical issues? Huge expenses? Huge mental and emotional stress over her ginormous problems, not to mention the time involved away from work and his own dreams?

No. That was never part of Derek’s team approach, let alone his marriage approach. Derek isn’t ready to be a good friend who can put someone else’s needs above his own, even for a few minutes. So he’s nowhere near ready to be a good husband.

Don’t be surprised when the one you love encounters huge problems in life that no one predicted on your wedding day. Except, of course, for that vague reference from the guy speaking up front, about people getting sick and things getting worse someday.

Just remember, you committed to this person. Not for how they looked and talked and thought at the time, but for who they were and would become, forever. “To have and to hold” means being there for more than just good times. It also means holding up the one you love when things get worse.

No matter what.

 

Find more reviews of “Monsters vs. Aliens” at amazon.com!