by Randall Allen Dunn

As the father of a four-year old girl, I can assure you that some Barbie movies are more watchable than others. Abby has collected several of them as presents in the last two years, and they all have some common features that are hard for a dad to sit through.

Barbie and her friends are always well-dressed, well-groomed and easygoing. It’s surprising that they usually wear casual everyday clothes, although it’s “casual” like a supermodel taking a day off. Their jobs seem more like hobbies – folk singer, ballerina, painter, etc. – or else they live in a palace somewhere with servants doing all the hard work. They treat people kindly and encourage others to have a positive outlook on life. Those parts, I can bear to watch.

The troubling parts are the male characters, who are always extremely effeminate and seem to have little purpose in life apart from dating Barbie. Far more disturbing are the pets, usually puppies, that have eyelashes and some form of make-up. They inevitably perform some strange dance number, incorporating disco, breakdancing, or some other dance form that no one wants to see a puppy do. I assume this is meant to be adorable for little girls, rather than just making their fathers ill.

But one of the few great Barbie movies is “Barbie, in A Christmas Carol”. If you’re going to watch a Barbie movie with your daughter, watch this one. I even managed to watch the animated pet cat.

When little Kelly tells Barbie she doesn’t want to attend a Christmas benefit party instead of doing her own thing, Barbie tells her about a woman who felt much the same way. In Barbie’s story, Eden Starling is a highly driven singer who runs a theatre house in Victorian England. Obsessed with success, she overworks her theatre troupe, insisting that they even rehearse through the holidays. Placing no value on Christmas, Eden grows tired of the troupe’s complaints about missing their holiday time, and threatens to fire the next person who brings up the subject of Christmas. Her best friend, costume designer Catherine, tries to get Eden to compromise, but Eden won’t hear of it.

That night, Eden is visited by the ghost of her Aunt Marie, who tells Eden she will be visited by three spirits, who will show her the true meaning of Christmas. Later, the first spirit shows Eden her childhood, revealing her upbringing with Aunt Marie. A strict taskmaster, Marie forces Eden to practice singing and playing piano almost non-stop, without even a break at Christmas. Eden is being raised to believe she must push herself harder and harder, because “in a selfish world, the selfish succeed.”

But she manages to sneak away to Catherine’s house, after Catherine invites her to “crash” their Christmas party. Inside Catherine’s home, the atmosphere is alive and warm and inviting. Everyone is happy and celebrating, and Catherine’s parents are delighted to see Eden joining them.

But Eden’s party ends abruptly when her Aunt Marie shows up at the door. Marie is highly offended that Catherine’s parents have allowed her daughter to sneak off to their party, but she is primarily angry with Eden for neglecting her music practice. She whisks Eden back home, making it clear that she and her niece have no interest in joining the Christmas party.

Eden is saddened at the memories of her rough childhood. But she insists that her Aunt Marie was right. Eden had to practice, rather than waste time celebrating with others, so that she could rise to the top.

The second spirit shows Eden that the present-day Catherine spends her Christmases donating clothes to orphans. Amazed, Eden confesses that she had no idea her best friend did this. But she still sees Christmas, and charity, as a waste.

Finally, the third spirit shows Eden a desolate future, after Eden has lost her hard-earned fame. Struggling to survive in a shabby apartment, Eden lives in the past, remembering her glory days as she peruses old posters of her performances.

She meets Catherine, who has become a rich designer, now enjoying the luxury and acclaim that Eden once had. Unfortunately, Catherine has also become arrogant and selfish, having learned from Eden that “in a selfish world, the selfish succeed.” She has no time for Eden, and no thoughts of lending a hand to her former best friend, who is now on the brink of starvation. A woman who once made clothes for orphans now seeks only to help herself.

Seeing all this, Eden learns her lesson quickly. She gives her staff time off for Christmas, and gives them gifts to celebrate. Hearing Barbie’s story, Kelly also changes her mind about attending the Christmas party.

What struck me so much about this film was its resounding gloomy theme: “In a selfish world, the selfish succeed.” … and the fact that this is actually true.

But the real truth is that every single one of us is selfish by nature. We’re born grabbing whatever we can for ourselves. It’s only through being taught how to share and think of others, and occasionally having our own conscience pricked, that we become generous.

So it should not surprise us that we live in a selfish world, made up of selfish people like ourselves. And if we pursue selfish ambitions, we will certainly succeed. As the saying goes, “It’s easy to make a lot of money if all you want to do is make a lot of money.” If you don’t care about others or about yourself, there are plenty of ways to get whatever you want by lying, cheating, and stealing whatever you can. You sacrifice friends and reputation and conscience, but what does that matter, if your only goal is to succeed? Anyone can achieve the dream of living in luxury at the expense of others.

Just remember that you will eventually wake up from that dream.

Even if you manage to stay popular and wealthy into your retirement years, how much will you enjoy your final days after casting all of your friends aside? Success alone won’t bring happiness, if there’s no one to share it with.

Some people worry that if they don’t claw their way to the top, they won’t reach their goals. Their obsession with success leads them to ignore the people around them.

But when we value other things in life besides our own ambitions – such as family, friends, peace, contentment, love – then selfish people like us can become givers. When we recognize that success is fleeting, but love is eternal, we can start to address the needs of those around us, both friends and strangers. We can listen to our friends’ concerns and encourage them. We can see the needs of strangers and lend them a hand. And by the joy and peace that comes from our generosity, the world can become a little less selfish.

In a selfish worldview, the world becomes selfish, and the selfish person feels free to justify their cold-hearted actions. In a generous world, people learn to depend on one another instead of competing with friends and neighbors. They learn to show kindness instead of grabbing everything up for themselves. And they learn to find hope and help, for a day when they might need someone to show them the same generosity.

Can you change the entire world by becoming a giver? Probably not.

But you can change the world around you.

Merry Christmas!

Find more reviews of “Barbie in A Christmas Carol” at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

Some people are just naturally happy. The ones who always smile, laugh easily, and rarely seem discouraged in life. I envy their happiness.

My daughter, Abby, is one of those people, and it’s not just because she’s four years old. She smiles constantly and always wants to try something new and fun. She’s eager to make friends with everyone and she’s quick to forgive people who hurt her. Of course, she can still be grumpy and nasty when she wants to. But most of the time, she chooses to be happy and friendly. She instantly makes friends with complete strangers, both children and adults, taking an interest in them as she tells them all about her latest adventures. And I just stand in amazement, wishing I could love life the way my little girl does.

Again, it’s not just carefree little kids who show this tendency. I once worked with a guy who smiled all the time, as a habit. One time I asked him to try to stop smiling, and he couldn’t maintain a straight face. Smiling was so natural for him, he couldn’t stop himself from doing it!

It reminds me of “Buddy, the Elf”, a guy with a naturally cheery disposition. “Elf” also happens to be one of Abby’s favorite movies. Every Christmas, she asks if we can watch “Buddy, the Elf”.

A human raised by Christmas elves, Buddy (Will Ferrell) doesn’t understand why he never quite fits in with his friends. But he keeps working hard to learn how to be a good elf, even though he’s terrible at making toys. Buddy stays positive, hoping to find something else that he could do well.

When he discovers that he was actually adopted by Papa Elf (Bob Newhart), Buddy learns he has a human father who lives in New York City. Unfortunately, his birth dad, Walter Hobbs (James Caan), does not share Buddy’s kind and cheery disposition. In fact, he’s on Santa’s “naughty list”. But Santa (Ed Asner) encourages Buddy that he might be able to help Walter change his ways, telling him, “Sometimes people just need a little bit of Christmas spirit.”

“I’m good at that,” Buddy replies.

“I know you are,” Santa agrees.

I’ve always been the opposite. I’m that discouraging middle child with “Jan Brady” syndrome, who always grew up feeling misunderstood. Everyone else seemed to have their lives put together better than mine. Either they were older and more responsible, or they were younger and cuter and things just seemed to work out for them. It took me a few years as an adult before I recognized that nobody really has their life put together at birth. Everybody has problems. The difference is how we deal with them.

When Buddy arrives in New York, Walter is surprised – but not happy – to see him. Especially when he learns that Buddy, the crazy guy who thinks he’s a Christmas elf, is his long-lost son. Fortunately, Walter’s security guards do a good job of keeping Buddy out of his office.

Buddy soon finds work at Gimble’s, where he is presumed to be one of the store employees, dressed up as one of Santa’s helpers. His new boss quickly learns that Buddy is one really happy guy. He asks Buddy, “Why are you smiling like that?”

“I just like smiling,” Buddy says, beaming. “Smiling’s my favorite.”

“Make work your favorite. Work’s your new favorite,” his boss tells him.

Buddy submits.

But he keeps smiling.

Soon he meets another employee, Jovie (Zooey Deschanel), and tries to infect her with his Christmas cheer as she tells him to go away. Buddy doesn’t understand her attitude of “just trying to get through the holidays”. After all, Buddy knows that Christmas is the best time of year, so why would anyone be frustrated by it?

Over time, Jovie learns that Buddy’s joy is for real. He really does love Christmas, and decorations, and snowflakes, and Christmas trees, and singing Christmas carols in public. He really is a big kid, who still finds wonder in the world and enjoys life, no matter what.

Jovie eventually becomes convinced that she can experience the same happiness. So much so that she takes a big risk, singing a Christmas carol amidst a crowd of strangers. And everyone eventually starts to sing along … even Walter Hobbs.

Unhappy people usually justify their misery by complaining about the state of the economy, the government, the rising crime rate, or the misfortunes of their own life up until now. Those are all real concerns, but they’re no excuse to remain miserable.

Especially when Christmas is a perfect excuse for being happy. A perfect time to pause a moment, take a look around you at the beauty of a winter scene and colorful decorations, at the laughter of family and friends and little children, and to recognize that there are reasons to celebrate life.

I smile more now than ever these days. Not because I have so much more money in my pocket, or a big promotion, or a fancy new car. Not because everybody thinks the world of me, or because I’ve achieved any great landmark in life. In fact, my life isn’t all put together yet. I still wish for things that haven’t come my way, and wish I could have achieved things that are now beyond my reach.

I smile because I have hope and joy in my heart. More hope and joy than I had in previous years. I smile because I received a gift two thousand years ago, when Christ came to offer peace to all mankind. To offer forgiveness for sins, and a reason for even the most troubled person to smile.

Sure, there are lonely and stressful times at Christmas, just as there are throughout the rest of the year. But Christmas can be a time of renewed hope, if you let it. A time to appreciate the innocence of children and the wonder of nature. To enjoy the laughter of family and friends and to open yourself up to new relationships. To find moments of peace and quiet, away from the hustle and bustle of shopping and parties and family pressures, when you can simply sit and reflect on the good things you’ve already received in life.

If you disagree, don’t worry. No one will make you enjoy this time of year. Nothing can force you to smile in the face of mounting bills, disappointing relationships, hurtful comments from family members, or doubts about your future. But I still believe smiling is better than moping.

You might not have gifts under the tree, or even a tree. You might not even have a home this Christmas, while other families gather around a warm fire. You might have lost a job, friends, your future prospects or your reputation.

But as you read this, you still have life and breath in your body. You still have people that you can talk to when you feel down. You still have hopes and dreams swimming around in your head, waiting to be realized someday, somehow. Why not enjoy these things that you already have, instead of grieving what you have lost or never gained? Why not appreciate what is, instead of mourning what isn’t?

It’s up to you. You can spend the rest of your days and minutes on this earth with hope, or with gloom.

Choose to smile.

Find more reviews of “Elf” on amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

I’m building my daughter an invisible plane for Christmas.

Okay, it’s not really invisible, and it doesn’t fly. It’s a toy vehicle I’m making out of plastic for a Wonder Woman action figure to use. If it works out, it might be the only functional toy invisible plane in existence!

Being four years old, Abby can’t appreciate how cool this toy will be. But I’m hoping she’ll still be glad to have it. So often, we think we have to buy the biggest and most expensive presents for people. But sometimes what we give of ourselves will last longer and mean a lot more.

When I was a kid and “Star Wars” had just taken the world by storm, my brother and I started collecting all the Star Wars action figures. The spaceships were a little too expensive for my family, so Robert and I never expected to get those.

But we really wanted the Death Star Space Station playset for Christmas. Sadly, it was way too expensive for our parents to buy, near the equivalent of the high-priced Barbie dream mansions. We knew there was no way we would be seeing a Death Star under our tree.

Still, we kept hungering over it, every time another TV commercial showed its multiple levels, collapsing bridge, and the trap door that dropped heroes into a mashing trash compactor. All the while knowing we would never, ever have one.

So we built our own, out of a large cardboard box. It didn’t look much like the sets of the Death Star. More like the sets of a cardboard box. Still, it had an upper floor with a bridge, and some sort of trap door that dropped the Star Wars heroes … somewhere. I don’t remember where, but I’m sure it was something really dangerous.

We played with our home-made toy for years, and had just as much fun with it as we would have had with the high-priced set being sold in stores. Later on, my dad and my older brother, David, used some cardboard, duct tape and creativity to build us several small spaceships for our Star Wars figures to fly around in. If I had kept them, those spaceships would still be intact today. Duct tape is forever.

These memories all came back to me full-force when I saw Abby throwing a paper airplane and shouting, “Wonder Woman!” I figured she would love having a Wonder Woman figure with her own invisible plane.

I searched amazon.com and found a discounted set of action figures that included Wonder Woman. Then I started figuring out what kind of clear plastic pieces I could use to make a transparent jet plane. I secured a dishwashing liquid bottle for the hull, and some clear plastic hangers for the wings and tailfin. I recruited the craft-making expertise of my wife, Nicki, to help me figure out how to carefully glue all my recyclable pieces together. It’s a work-in-progress, but we’re really excited about it.

Will it be perfect? Who knows? Probably not.

Will it get smashed and broken the first day Abby plays with it? Possibly, but at least I’ll get what I paid for it.

Will it fly? No. It’s not a flying toy.

But whatever else happens with this project, at least we’re having a lot of fun with it as we head into Christmas. So often, people feel pressured to get the most expensive Christmas gifts. Or, in my case, the most complicated. When I suggested my clever gift idea to Nicki, she made sure I wasn’t biting off more than I could chew … as usual. Christmas projects often bring out the Clark Griswold in me. I assured her that I wouldn’t get stressed over it, and agreed that we can build the plane later on if it’s not finished by Christmas.

In the song, “The Little Drummer Boy”, a child happens upon the birth of Christ, where shepherds and wise men are bringing gifts. This child is said to be a great king, so everyone has come to honor his birth.

But the boy is embarrassed by the fact that he hasn’t brought a gift, and has no means to get one. Until he realizes that this great king is no richer than he is. The child has been born in a barnyard stable. Jesus and his parents won’t be expecting people to lay the world’s most expensive presents at their feet. They’ll understand if the boy can’t afford a gift as grand as the other ones that had been brought.

So he brings the one gift he had. The one he always has within him: his song on a drum. And it’s more than enough.

The gift you bring doesn’t have to be expensive, let alone the hottest new item on the shelves. Can you bake cookies or a pie to share? Can you build a bookshelf or a toy chest? Can you sew an embroidered pillow or a blanket? Can you sing or play someone a song?

Everyone has something to give. You might need some help with putting your gift together, just like I need help from my wonderful wife. But you have something special to give to someone. It might be as simple as a commitment to do some extra chores, or to arrange a time to take someone out for a picnic lunch. It might not seem like much to you, but it could mean a lot to the one who receives it.

And if you have special talents, remember that they are called “gifts” for two reasons: because they’re special abilities that we received as gifts … and because they’re meant to be given.

Find more reviews of “The Little Drummer Boy by the Vienna Boys Choir” at amazon.com!

P.S. I am blessed! Abby finally likes watching “Super Friends”, and she told Nicki she wants a Wonder Woman action figure for Christmas! Click here to see Abby and the children from Life Church performing “The Little Drummer Boy”, which they sang for the St. Charles Christmas Parade!

by Randall Allen Dunn

Christmas can be a great time of year for kids, but it can also bring up a lot of past hurts. Especially when those past hurts have come from family members.

While some people enjoy getting together with family, others are wishing they had a family to get together with. Others are wishing that their family had stayed together.

In the film, “Are We There Yet?”, Nick Persons (Ice Cube) is not even thinking about the holidays, and he’s certainly not thinking about kids. He’s trying to get out of the “friend zone” with his new love interest, Suzanne Kingston (Nia Long). Unfortunately, for Nick, Suzanne is what he calls “a breeder”. In other words, she’s got kids. So if Nick wants to date Suzanne, he’s going to have to get her kids to like him.

Of course, eleven-year old Lindsey Kingston (Aleisha Allen) and her seven-year old brother, Kevin (Philip Bolden), have no plans of tolerating Nick, any more than they tolerated their mom’s previous boyfriends. To them, the only good man for Suzanne is their dad, whom they insist will come back to re-marry her one day.

To adults who are familiar with divorce, this is a pipe dream. To an abandoned child, it’s the only thing that makes any sense. After all, how could their mother or father leave them and never come back? That’s just not something parents do, is it?

When Suzanne’s ex-husband cancels his plans to watch the kids, Suzanne is stuck. She has to travel to Vancouver for business or she’ll lose her job. But she can’t take the kids with her.

Nick sees his chance. He offers to fly the kids there himself to meet her a few days later, after her business meetings are finished. Overwhelmed, Suzanne agrees to let him help, thus making Nick both her babysitter and children’s chauffeur.

Naturally, the kids aren’t thrilled to be stuck for hours on a flight with their mother’s would-be boyfriend.

But before they board their plane, Kevin notices that certain items are prohibited, such as the new corkscrew that Nick gave him as a gift. So he quickly slips the corkscrew into Nick’s pocket. After Nick fails the airport scan and the corkscrew is discovered, he is tackled by security and ejected from the airport. Forced to drive Lindsey and Kevin, he issues a long list of rules about how to behave in his car, followed by threats for breaking any of said rules.

With hindsight, Nick might have included rules like:

1. Don’t throw up in my car.
2. Don’t lock me out of my car and attempt to drive away.
3. Don’t hold up a “Help us!” sign to passing motorists to make them think I kidnapped you.
4. Don’t burn my car to a crisp.

But he failed to include such rules, and suffers for it.

But at the same time, Nick is discovering that he likes these kids. Sure, they’re obnoxious – especially when they try to steal his car – but they’re both smart, talented kids that are fun to be around. Lindsey and Kevin start to like Nick, too, but they still know that their dad is coming back for them.

Eventually, the kids make a clean escape and head off to find their dad. Nick tracks them on his car’s GPS, which the kids had used to locate their dad, and soon finds them standing outside their father’s home, staring in shock through the picture window.

It turns out that their dad was never really sick. He is, however, enjoying time with his new wife and baby.

Their father has obviously moved on, and he’s not coming back.

Ever.

Seeing the kids’ faces, Nick feels just as devastated as they do. He tells them how sorry he is, and reveals that he was also abandoned as a child. He can’t know why their dad decided to leave. He can only assure them that it wasn’t their fault he left, because they’re really cool kids.

Nick figures out that kids can be a lot of trouble to look after, but it’s all worth it. His car, his possessions, and his love life all suddenly take a back seat to making sure Lindsey and Kevin are protected.

This holiday season, if you’re grieving the fact that you were abandoned as a child, know that it wasn’t your fault, even if someone told you it was. Children are never the ones who cause abandonment. That choice was made by someone else.

Don’t waste your years looking back and wondering why something tragic happened long ago. It’s too easy to allow your past to rob you of your future.

Instead, take time to appreciate the loyal friends and family you have now. The ones you can trust to stick by you. And look forward to finding more of them in the years ahead.

The fact that someone made a poor choice to abandon you is no reason to abandon yourself.

Find more reviews of “Are We There Yet?” at amazon.com!