by Randall Allen Dunn

I am sometimes boggled by the rudeness and bad manners that define some of today’s youth. I keep wondering where it comes from, and why the next generation seems incapable of showing respect to the older generation.

It seems that many children and young adults suffer from a selfish self-delusion about their future, assuming that they will one day be a world-famous fashion model or become the next American Idol, after which they will never have to actually work a day in their lives. So they reason that, since their future is all sewn up due to their obvious talent, they don’t need to listen to adults. After all, who needs parents or teachers when you’re a celebrity in the making?

I’m not against stardom. After all, I hope to make a living one day as a writer. But I’m very much against people refusing to face reality because they think they’re above it. Anyone who has achieved lasting celebrity status had to make sacrifices and work hard for it – something that many of today’s “legends in their own mind” don’t grasp.

As I considered these things, and my concerns for the attitudes my own children might adopt, I wondered what made my own childhood different. And I remembered watching the movie, “Pinocchio”, when I was very young.

I remember it scaring me to death.

At the same time, as I grew up, there were certain lines I would simply never cross. I generally did not mouth off to my parents. I didn’t do drugs or smoke. I didn’t drink before I was of legal age, and I seldom drink now. I wasn’t a perfect kid, but I avoided a lot of things I could have gotten involved in, because they had “danger signs” that told me they would lead me into a trap.

I decided to watch “Pinocchio” again with my daughter, Abby, warning her that there would be some scary scenes, but that it was a good movie. I wanted her to learn some life lessons from something meaningful, not from the rude and selfish attitudes modeled on some teen television shows we’ve seen.

In the film, an elder toymaker named Geppetto, having no children of his own, wishes on a star for his latest puppet creation, Pinocchio, to transform into a real human boy. While Geppetto sleeps, a Blue Fairy appears in his toy shop and grants his wish, bringing Pinocchio to life. She tells Pinocchio he has been given a gift, but is still a mere puppet. To become a real boy, he must prove himself to be “brave, truthful and unselfish” by learning to choose wisely between right and wrong. Pinocchio promises to do so, with the help of his new friend, Jiminy Cricket, who volunteers to be Pinocchio’s “conscience”, since Pinocchio has no idea what a conscience is.

Like all of us, Pinocchio starts off with the best of intentions, determined to prove himself dependable by obeying his “father”, Geppetto, and going to school, just like a real boy.

But along the way, Pinocchio runs into two slick con artists that have “Bad Influence” written all over them: a fox named Honest John and a cat named Gideon. (For most of today’s children, meeting a talking fox and cat would be creepy enough to make them keep walking, but Pinocchio has a wooden brain.)

Seeing a wooden puppet with no strings, they seize the opportunity to make a quick buck. They tell Pinocchio that school is for losers, not talented stars like him. As a puppet without strings, Pinocchio should head straight for the theatre to start an acting career instead. Being a puppet with no conscience or experience, Pinocchio swallows their lies and lets them sell him to Stromboli, a puppeteer who makes Pinocchio the star of his show.

But when Pinocchio tells Stromboli he’s ready to head home now, Stromboli throws him in a cage, telling him it’s his new home, and his new job is to make the puppeteer a fortune.

At this point, Abby told me she didn’t like this movie. I understood that. Nobody likes consequences, or even thinking about them. We love to dream of the wonderful life we feel we deserve, but we never consider whether we’re choosing a safe path to get there.

After I promised Abby that Pinocchio would get away, and she would like the movie in the end, she finally agreed to continue.

Thankfully, the Blue Fairy appears to rescue Pinocchio, telling him that poor Geppetto is out searching the streets for him. But when she asks him how he got in a cage, Pinocchio starts telling her the biggest lies he can imagine, despite Jiminy Cricket’s advice to tell the truth. He doesn’t want to confess that he disobeyed Geppetto by skipping school to become a puppet stage star.

So his nose grows.

And grows.

And grows!

The Blue Fairy explains that a person’s lies grow bigger and bigger, until they’re out of control. When Pinocchio confesses the truth and asks for help, the fairy restores his nose to its former wooden glory and sets him free.

The next day, Pinocchio starts out for school again, once more with the best of intentions. And once again, Honest John and Gideon show up to lead him astray. (Isn’t it funny how Bad Influences keep showing up until we learn to just say “no” to them?) This time, they tell him he looks ill, and needs a vacation. They describe a wonderful place for boys to have fun all day long, where they never have to listen to parents or teachers, and never have to be polite or self-controlled. A place where they can gamble and smoke cigars and drink whiskey and cuss as much as they want. A place where little boys like Pinocchio can finally be free!

The place: Pleasure Island.

Pinocchio buys their lies again, ditching his “conscience” Jiminy for the excitement of what Honest John calls freedom. On the wagon ride to Pleasure Island, he meets his new best friend, Lampwick. (When a kid in a story is named “lamp wick”, you know he won’t last for long.) Lampwick is the poster child for Pleasure Island, ready to break windows and play all day, doing everything that grown-ups tell him not to. He wants to experience all the fun in life that he figures the adults are keeping him from.

What neither boy realizes is that the happy owner of Pleasure Island has cast a spell over the place. Every boy who comes there to waste his life away soon finds it taken from him, as he is transformed into a donkey, then shipped away as a beast of burden to various countries.

With Jiminy Cricket’s help, Pinocchio barely escapes with his life, having already acquired a donkey’s ears and tail. Lampwick, of course, doesn’t make it. The Bible states that the candle of the righteous shines brightly, but the candle of the wicked will be snuffed out. Lampwick made his selfish choices, and didn’t seek an escape until it was too late.

Pinocchio arrives home, his foolish choices evident by his long ears and dragging tail. But Geppetto is gone. A letter from the Blue Fairy informs him that Geppetto went searching for him again, but was swallowed by the fearsome whale named Monstro. Pinocchio and Jiminy head out to sea to rescue Geppetto from the whale’s belly. They are soon swallowed by Monstro, too. Reunited with Geppetto, Pinocchio builds a fire inside the whale’s mouth, forcing it to sneeze them out.

As Monstro pursues them, Pinocchio gets Geppetto to safety in an undersea cave, just before the whale smashes into the cliff face. He saves Geppetto and the others, but dies in the attempt.

The Blue Fairy then gives Pinocchio new life as a human boy, since he has finally proven himself to be trustworthy and faithful, putting others above himself.

By the end, Abby decided that she liked “Pinocchio” after all.

Let’s face it, “Pinocchio” is a frightening movie about the dangers of making bad choices. But sometimes, we need to recognize the danger of a pit so that we don’t foolishly fall into it. It’s easy to dream up a perfect life for ourselves, where we achieve stardom, win the lottery, and everybody loves us, as we kick up our feet and soak it all in.

In real life, we need to work to receive an income, even a big one. And we need an education in order to qualify for steady jobs. We need to listen to grown-ups and people with experience, so that we can learn how to live our lives wisely. And we need to treat those people with respect, or they might not be as willing to share their insights with us.

Life isn’t as easy as rock stars and supermodels might make it seem. We love to hear about the mansions they live in, the fast cars they drive, and the people clamoring for their autograph. We’re not so interested in hearing about their fourteen-hour work days on the set, the desserts they had to give up, or the lack of privacy and a genuine social life. Even the rich and famous have to work, and their privileges typically come with a price.

It’s tempting to take the easy route to fortune and freedom, while ignoring everyone who tells you to follow the tried-and-tested rules of life. But many of those “rules” that get ignored are actually laws of nature, about how to treat others and succeed in a community. Cheating or coasting your way through life can cost you friends, your reputation and even your life.

When you’re tempted to chase after the “easy life”, remember that many older and wiser people have experienced that same temptation, and learned there were some strings attached.

Find more reviews of “Pinocchio” at amazon.com!

by Randall Allen Dunn

One day, while Abby was playing with a friend, both of the girls started screaming at each other over a toy. They were grabbing at it, each trying to pull it from the other one’s hands. Nicki calmed them down and talked with them about how to resolve things without getting into a big fight.

I came into the room a little later and asked the girls if they were all right, because I heard that they had gotten blown up.

Abby and her friend giggled and gave me confused looks. “We didn’t get blown up!” they said.

“It sounded like you did. It sounded like you got blown up by an argument bomb.”

They started cracking up, wondering what nonsense I was talking about now.

“Were you both grabbing this toy?” I asked.

“Yeah,” they acknowledged.

“Well, did you both start getting mad and yelling at each other when you were trying to get it?”

“Well, we were kind of yelling,” they admitted.

“That’s an argument bomb. As soon as you both started grabbing at it, it blew up and made you both have a big argument. Next time you touch something and it makes you both get really mad, you should let go of that thing right away before it makes you blow up.”

The girls were still laughing, thinking I was crazy. But Nicki loved this concept. She told the girls, “Haven’t you ever heard someone say that they ‘blew up’ at someone because they got so mad? That’s what happens when you start fighting over something.”

Nicki and I love the hilarious British children’s cartoon, “Charlie and Lola”, about seven-year old Charlie (Daniel Mayers), who often has to help his flighty four-year old sister, Lola (Clementine Cowell), understand the way things really work. Thankfully, Charlie is very longsuffering, and Lola is fairly easygoing.

However, in one episode, called, “Yes I Am, No You’re Not”, they’re having a lot of trouble getting along. They keep getting into arguments over little things, to the point that their mother threatens them. If they can’t stop their squabbling, she’ll cancel their plans to take them to the Chinese puppet show. Charlie and Lola work hard to play together without getting into a fight, but it doesn’t work. They’re soon arguing and screaming at each other, demanding their way.

So their mother puts them both in the “Simmer-Down Chair”. Contemplating their fate, Charlie and Lola decide that they need a plan to keep themselves from squabbling. They can’t agree on what television show to watch, so they decide to do something quiet … separately.

Sitting together at a table, they begin coloring pictures. But within a few minutes, their plan falls apart as they start fighting over the crayons they each need.

Back in the Simmer-Down Chairs again, Charlie suggests a new plan. Instead of saying “No” to one another, they should find ways to say “Yes”. Then they’ll be agreeing on things instead of arguing. Lola loves this idea, and giggles as she says “Yes” to the plan.

When they return to playing, they happily respond “Yes” to questions from one another, and find they’re enjoying their time together again. By focusing on working together, they find it easier to avoid getting upset with one another.

Getting along with someone takes work, especially when it’s someone close to you. It’s too easy to fall into a trap of getting on each other’s nerves and venting all of your frustration.

Some years ago, a church friend noted that when we feel slighted, it’s usually over a “slight” matter. We focus on what offends us, even when it’s relatively insignificant. By insisting on defending ourselves and our opinions, we end up hurting our relationships and building up our own frustration.

You can preserve a lot of peace in your home by avoiding arguments over small things.

Learn to let things go this week. And try not to blow up.

Find more reviews of “Charlie and Lola Volume 4” at amazon.com!

A lot of moral dilemmas have a simple black-and-white answer. No matter how people try to excuse away bad choices, there are still moral absolutes that tell us it is wrong to steal from others, or to seek personal revenge on someone.

But we can easily forget that the same rule doesn’t apply to people. People are not simply “good” or “bad”, “right” or “wrong”. Yet we often dismiss someone who appears to be “in the wrong”, rather than considering their needs.

“Handy Manny” is a wonderful cartoon about Manny Garcia (Wilmer Valderamma), a local handyman who assists his community with the help of his talking tools. In the multi-cultural neighborhood of Sheetrock Hills, Manny gets to work with all sorts of people on a variety of projects. At the same time, he finds opportunity to explain some of his own Hispanic traditions, such as celebrating Cinco de Mayo or Quinceañera.

In the episode, “Skateboard Park”, Mayor Rosa calls Manny and the tools with a serious problem. Kids are skateboarding through the crowded park and making it dangerous for others trying to use the sidewalks. Some of the park visitors are elderly, and can’t maneuver out of harm’s way. Small children are also present, and the skateboarders can’t always stop themselves quickly enough to avoid a dangerous crash. The combination of speeding skateboarders and other foot traffic is a bad accident waiting to happen. So the mayor asks Manny to post a sign that prohibits skateboarding in the park.

It seems like a simple job. Until Manny meets his friend, Elliot (Lance Bass), one of the skateboarders. Manny explains how dangerous it has become for Elliot’s friends to skateboard in between all of the other park visitors.

“But it’s the only place to skateboard in town,” Elliot argues. His buddies need a place to skateboard safely, where there are no cars, and the park has plenty of wide sidewalks to use.

When Mayor Rosa arrives to emphasize the problem, Elliot insists, “But we’re soooo careful!” Sadly, Elliot’s skateboarding buddy demolishes his argument a moment later, as he crashes his skateboard onto the grass nearby.

Manny tells Elliot that they have no choice. They can’t risk the safety of everyone else in the park. Elliot sadly complies, trudging away with his skateboard under his arm.

For most of us, the problem would be solved. Sure, it’s unfortunate that the kids can’t skateboard anywhere, but there’s simply no alternative.

But Manny decides to press for a better solution. Having no ideas of his own, he goes to a trusted friend, Kelly (Nancy Truman), who runs the hardware store and always has whatever Manny needs for a project. This time, he needs a better idea.

Kelly listens to the problem, remembering how Elliot loves skateboarding in the park. “Well, it’s too bad there isn’t a part of the park that’s just for skateboarders,” she notes.

Manny thanks Kelly, realizing she has just given him the solution he needs. He returns to Mayor Rosa and suggest that he and the tools build a ramped skateboarding area in a corner of the park, where the skateboarders won’t risk running into anyone else. Mayor Rosa loves the idea. “I should have known you would come up with a way to make everyone happy!” she beams.

Working within a community means taking everyone’s needs into consideration. It’s not always possible to find a solution that fits for everyone. But more often than not, people simply don’t make the extra effort to come up with better ideas. Working through a problem until you find a solution that satisfies everyone is difficult and time-consuming. Some people simply don’t feel it’s worth the hassle. Especially when they view one affected group as clearly “in the wrong”, just like Elliot and his troublesome skateboarding friends.

But the best kinds of neighbors make time to find solutions that benefit everyone.

For more information about “Handy Manny”, click on the picture link at left for an interview with Wilmer Valderamma, the voice of Handy Manny.

SIDE NOTE: When my very handy wife, Nicki, was working on a project, our three-year old daughter was astounded at her ability to repair things. “Mommy, you’re like Handy Manny,” Abby said, awestruck. Right after Nicki thanked her, Abby said, “Daddy is like Mr. Lopart.”

For those who don’t know, Mr.Lopart is the bumbling candy store owner with a comb-over, who breaks everything he tries to fix.

I think she just wanted to give me a part on the show …

A few months back, I had the weirdest Facebook request ever. My email account sent a message that read, “Randall Dunn wants to be your friend.”

I’ve always wanted to be my own best friend, so I would never be alone. Still, I assumed it was some bizarre internet glitch.

But it wasn’t. It was actually another person named Randall Dunn, a boy who looked much like I did at age ten. I thought about the “Twilight Zone” episode in which a woman sees herself – same coat and hair and face – getting onto a bus outside some diner. She later learns that she has spotted a doppelganger, her exact double from a parallel universe.

So I clicked “Ignore”, then ran from the room, screaming in terror. I tried shouting, “Help! I’m after me!” But no one responded.

… Okay, actually, I made all that stuff up. Except for the part about the kid who looked like me. He’s still out there somewhere …

Seeing a mirror image of yourself makes you consider the direction you’ve taken in life. That can make you happy about the decisions you’ve made, or make you run away screaming. Especially if you see a more innocent version of yourself, before you made all those really bad choices. Where could you have taken your life by simply choosing something better?

In the film, “Mr. Destiny”, Larry Burrows (Jim Belushi) feels he’s let himself down in life. His life isn’t bad. It’s just nothing to brag about. Larry never came close to realizing his dreams.

One fateful night, Larry determines that he would have succeeded in life if he had only accomplished one thing: catching that fly ball to win the game for his high school baseball team. Instead, he dropped the ball on that fateful day, dropping all of his future hopes with it. For the rest of his life, he remained a loser – the guy who had lost the game all those years ago.

A mysterious bartender named Mike (Michael Caine) discusses Larry’s problem, and – unbeknownst to Larry – grants him his wish. When Larry leaves the bar and heads home, his wife, Ellen (Linda Hamilton), refuses to let him in. The next morning, he returns to the drudgery of his job. But everyone now treats him with respect, awe, and a little bit of fear. Larry soon learns that everyone thinks he’s the company president.

He eventually discovers that his life story has been altered. In this alternate reality, he actually did catch that baseball and win for his team. As a result, everyone – including Larry – started viewing him differently: as a success.

Thrilled, Larry finds that he now lives in a mansion filled with expensive sportscars, champagne, and his wife, Cindy Jo (Rene Russo), the most sought-after girl from his high school. All his dreams have come true in a single night!

A few months after I graduated college, I applied for an acting/modeling job. (I was not always fat.) The recruiters liked my face and wanted to add my name to a list of models for jeans and other clothes at nearby stores. They would pay for my flights whenever they sent me to an exhibition in California or elsewhere, and such jobs often led to other job opportunities for acting. But they warned that I would have to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice, because they might call me in the middle of the week and would need me to fly me out the next day.

I was really intrigued, but I couldn’t accept their terms. I had no job, but I had just agreed to start directing weekly dramas for my church, so I couldn’t be “on call” for them. Of course, I could have simply backed out of the drama ministry. We had a small church and I had only directed a few dramas, so it wouldn’t make much difference to stop doing something that we had only started a month before. But I didn’t feel right about breaking my promise to my pastor and my church.

Over the years, I’ve often wondered what would have happened if I had said “yes”, and actually become a model and Hollywood actor. I might have become rich and famous, and instead of blogging to you now, I would be giving a TV interview about my latest film role. Or promoting my new line of health care products or salad dressing with my face on the cover.

But I said “no”, so I don’t know what I might have gained by choosing that path. I can only tell you what I would have lost.

I would have lost the drama ministry at my church that helped me improve my writing and changed a lot of people’s lives.

I would have moved away to Hollywood, losing contact with family and friends that have supported me so much over the years, and with whom I’ve laughed, cried, and created lifelong memories.

I wouldn’t have been there for my brother, Robert, at a time when he needed my help, which resulted in him joining our church and working with me in the drama ministry. The same church and drama ministry that his girlfriend, Laura, later joined. The same church they were married in.

I wouldn’t have gotten to watch their kids grow up.

I wouldn’t have found a different job, through which I met my best friend, Thom Reese. We wouldn’t have gotten together time and time again to discuss our writing plans and goals, along with other dreams for our families and our faith.

I wouldn’t have learned about the Write-to-Publish Conference in Wheaton, Illinois, to which I commuted nearly every summer, learning most of what I know about writing and publishing.

I wouldn’t have learned how to be a good husband and father. It’s hard to learn that when you’re surrounded by people who live in the fast lane of luxury, feeling constant pressure to compromise their principles. It was much easier to learn it as part of a small church, in close proximity with people who strived to honor God and bless their families. As one of the few singles in the church, I got to observe families working through marital struggles and figuring out how to raise their kids before having to learn it through my own experiences. Through the church, I learned how real families stay strong.

I wouldn’t have met my wife. I might have married someone else and been rich, but we wouldn’t have laughed together as much as Nicki and I do. I might have married some supermodel, but I doubt her face would light up with the same love and joy that Nicki has when she’s hugging me or holding our daughter. I might have even found a woman who wanted to adopt a child, but that child would not have been as clever, funny or frighteningly energetic as Abby.

In “Mr. Destiny”, it doesn’t take long for Larry to discover the downside of his new “dream” life. His closest friends now avoid him whenever possible. When he does talk with them, they’re stunned and edgy, expecting him to threaten their jobs.

Not only has Larry become the boss, he’s become a cold-hearted boss.

His former wife, Ellen, another company employee, has been actively campaigning against Larry and his ruthless corporate strategies. When Larry realizes how much Ellen loathes him, he seeks her out, only to find that she wants nothing to do with him.

Larry finally realizes that he was better off with his old life. He didn’t have the fastest cars or the biggest mansion or the most alluring wife. But he could still respect the person he saw in the mirror.

My family and I have struggled over the years. There are things that I wish I hadn’t done. Choices I wish I hadn’t made. Circumstances I would rather have avoided.

But there’s one choice I don’t regret making. One temptation I don’t regret walking away from. I’m glad I chose to stick around and live a simpler life, rather than devote my life to glitz and glamour. At the time, all I had was a small church and a simple commitment to help start a drama ministry. I had no idea it would result in more wisdom, more friendships, more writing experience, and a beautiful family.

No matter how I got here, I really like the place that I’m in right now.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

Find more reviews of “Mr. Destiny” at amazon.com!